Love you forever
by Falcon 101
Summary: Derek has been a single parent of two since his wife died three years ago. Things are normal in his world until he meets a kind beautiful woman named Meredith who becomes his friend and over time something much more special than that.
1. Chapter 1

_Derek's POV_

Derek opened his eyes slowly and saw a whirl of colour he ran his hands through his face as he tried to rid his mind of the cloud inside his head then he heard a loud scream he sat up in a fright as his little girl jumped into his arms, "Cecilia Shepherd how many times have I told you not to do that."

"Do what daddy" Cecilia said as she rubbed her dad's head with her hands.

"Scaring me first thing in the morning, this is the third time this week."

"But it's fun."

"Fun for who" Derek muttered as he flopped back onto the bed. Cecilia hugged his stomach, "um me...you...Josh."

"Yeah right you make me wet myself one more time and i'm giving you an extra helping of pumpkin every night for a week." Cecilia crawled up the bed and looked down at her dad's face, "daddy you smell funny."

"I haven't had a shower yet kiddo."

Cecilia sniffed him and smirked, "you wet yourself." Derek smirked back as he sat up and reached for his daughter. Cecilia laughed loudly before she jumped off the bed and ran out of the room. Derek just chuckled as he looked at his alarm clock before getting out of his bed and after taking one glance out the window to check out the weather he gathered up all of his work clothes and walked out of his bedroom to go to the bathroom.

"Daddy" Derek in a panic covered his naked form with his clothes and looked at his daughter, "Cecilia what have I said about seeing daddy in the nuddy."

"Sorry" Cecilia muttered as she smiled the cheeky smile that always amused Derek before putting her hands over her eyes.

"That's better now what's up?"

"Can I make breakfast?"

"Absolutely not" Derek said in a raised voice, "do you remember when I said if you ever made breakfast and burn anything again then I will put your brother's underpants on your head the second you fall asleep."

"I'll put them on your head daddy."

"Just give me twenty minutes and i'll make breakfast and don't play any tricks on Josh."

"I never play tricks."

Derek snorted as he walked into the bathroom twenty minutes later he had washed his hair, brushed his teeth, shaved and had put on his best suit for work. "Cecilia" he called from the top of the stairs, "is Josh up yet?"

"No dad" Derek walked to the bedroom his kids shared and he saw his son fast asleep, "champ" he whispered as he gently rubbed the small boy's head. "Josh" he said again, Josh stirred and yawned loudly, "hey buddy it's time to get up."

Josh nodded and started to crawl over the bed, Derek quickly caught him before his head hit the floor. "Mate remember what I said rub the sleep out of your eyes before you get out of bed otherwise you hurt yourself."

Josh nodded Derek picked him up and his youngest child gave him a hug, "morning daddy."

"Good morning champ come on Cecilia has made breakfast."

"But you told Cecilia we aren't allowed to make breakfast since we set the round thing on fire."

"I know but your sister doesn't listen to me she's too determined to do what she thinks is right she takes after her..." Derek cut off in mid sentence as suppressed memories of Addison from three years ago came flowing back.

"Daddy" Josh whispered noticing the pain showing on his dad's face. Derek sighed sadly and tried not to think about Addison and instead think about the two greatest treasures his wife had given him, "let's just have something to eat."

"Daddy" Cecilia said standing in the kitchen with her arms behind her back looking very pleased with herself. Derek rolled his eyes, "Cecilia I told you not to make breakfast any more I was serious about the underpants."

"Underpants" Josh said looking confused.

"Yes mate your underpants we'll put them on your sister's head in the middle of the night what do you think?"

"That would be mean" Sam whispered.

"It would be funny Sam" Derek said.

"I just made toast" Cecilia said, "it's only a bit black"

Derek ruffled Cecilia's hair with his free hand, "okay thank you honey let's eat up we got a big day ahead of us."

Derek sat down on a chair by the kitchen table and looked at the burnt toast on a plate in front of him he felt his sleeve being tugged and he looked sideways and down at his son, "can we go with you today dad" Josh said with a pleading look in his eyes.

"Please daddy please" Cecilia started to tug on her dad's other sleeve. Derek simply shook his head, "kids you know why you can't go to work with me."

"But we're not too young anymore" Cecilia climbed onto his lap, "we're really big now we can save people with you."

"Your four years old Cecilia and Josh is three."

"I'm nearly five and Sam is nearly four that's old enough."

"Not even close angel, I thought you liked going to the day care centre."

"But we're there every day" Cecilia said in a dramatic tone of voice, "it's the same old books, the same old games the same old stuff."

"I like it" Josh whispered as he put his fingers in his mouth.

Cecilia made a farting sound with her lips and Derek raised an eyebrow at her, "what was that for Cecilia?"

"Josh hates boring day care as much as I do."

Josh shook his head, "I um." Derek looked back and forth at his two kids and shrugged his shoulders, "well if you would rather have you know who babysit you again."

Cecilia opened her mouth in horror, "not Mrs Yolk."

"Mrs Yang Cecilia" Derek said.

"She made us clean the whole house last time she was here."

"Well that's good it saves me having to clean when there are two big strong kids who are apparently old enough to go with their daddy to work to clean the place up."

"But it's the grownups job to clean the house."

"It's the kid's job as well Cecilia."

"I'll clean the house daddy" Josh said Derek smiled widely at him, "thank you Josh you see Cecilia your little brother likes cleaning."

"He can clean I can cook" Cecilia said grinning.

"Well i'm just glad I got two kids to look after the place."

"And look after you daddy" Cecilia said as she hugged him. Derek nodded as he kissed his daughter's cheek, "remember guys it's my job to look after you, you're the kids i'm the dad that's how it works."

"You'll always look after us dad" Josh said.

"Of course Josh."

Cecilia smiled so widely all of her missing front teeth showed, "so we can go to work with you and you can look after us at work."

"Okay" Derek said as he got up, "i'm going to call Mrs Yang."

Cecilia grabbed his legs and looked up at him, "Not Mrs Yuck please."

_At the hospital_

Derek strolled through the hospital's corridors in an unpleasant mood. Josh had broken down in tears the second he had admitted him and Cecilia into the day care centre of Seattle Grace hospital. He had tried his best to calm him down with Cecilia helping him and reassuring Josh and Derek that she would play with her brother and after a certain amount of hugs Josh had finally wandered into the day care centre without crying. Now Derek was running late for work he pressed a button on the elevator and muttered darkly as he dropped the folders he was carrying in his hands he heard the elevator doors opened as he bent down and hurriedly tried to scoop up his documents, "are you alright" Derek heard a woman say.

"Fine fine just sorry give me a second."

"Here let me help you" Derek saw two thin hands grab the rest of his papers he looked up to say thank you and his eyes widened as he saw one of the most beautiful faces he thought he had ever seen a few inches from his own face she smiled slowly at him and Derek swallowed as he stared at the woman until the elevator doors closed. "Ow" Derek cried out at the doors squished his ears against his skull.

The woman quickly stood up and pressed a button the elevator doors opened back up and Derek's palms felt his sore head, "jesus that hurt."

"I am so sorry I" the woman stammered.

"What are you sorry about it wasn't your fault, its just technology is a pain these days."

"Yeah it is" the woman said, "the computers in here are irritating I still can't log on to them and i've been here for three days it's just crazy."

"Right" Derek said as he walked into the elevator and pressed a button he looked at the lights before turning his body sideways to face the woman, "I was wondering why I haven't seen you around here."

The woman nodded and pushed a lock of her long hair out of her face Derek felt his heart rate quicken at her motion. "Well if we haven't seen each other before" the woman said looking at Derek calmly "can we shake hands and introduce ourselves."

"Sure sure sorry where are my manners um" Derek looked in his pocket "nope not there." He laughed quickly and then quickly turned red _oh god Derek are you really this pathetic_ he thought to himself thankfully the woman smiled gently at his lame joke, "I'm Meredith... Meredith Grey."

"I'm Derek Derek Shepherd" Derek said staring into Meredith's eyes _wow those eyes_.

"Derek sorry um" Derek looked at Meredith's outreached hand and he gritted his teeth "oh sorry" he put on a smile and shook her hand as the elevator doors opened. "Well it was lovely to meet you" Meredith said smiling, "maybe i'll see you again sometime."

"Yeah and hopefully I won't be stuck in the elevator doors" Meredith giggled and Derek nodded in an uncomfortable fashion. "I'll see you around" Meredith said as she quickly ran out the doors and hurried down the corridors leaving Derek closing his eyes, "it's going to be a long morning" he muttered to himself.

_Meredith POV_

Meredith smiled as she heard the elevator doors close she thought back on her brief interaction with the man in the elevator and the smile that she loved to show to people remained on her face as she thought about how she had made in her opinion the most handsome man she had seen so far in Seattle feel nervous. She strolled with a merry spring in her step until she saw a colleague of hers and she quickly resumed her professional walk.

"Well well your fourth day on the job and you already look like your over the moon." Meredith waved at Cristina Yang someone who had done her best to make Meredith feel welcome to Seattle Grave hospital which Meredith was very grateful for and who had also been somewhat of a mentor to her since Meredith had first arrived on the job.

"Well" Meredith said, "i'm liking this job more and more every day what have we got?"

"Your first big challenge a kid has come in fresh from a motorcycle accident you've been given the job of keeping him alive."

Meredith nodded feeling deathly serious as she pushed the thoughts of Derek Shepherd from her mind and she walked into the emergency room trying to remember how to put her training into practice.

_A few hours later_

Meredith was standing outside the operating room drinking coffee while Cristina patted Meredith gently on the shoulder, "see I knew you could do it."

Meredith breathed out a sigh of relief, "i'm just glad that kids alright."

"He's fine thanks to you he'll live to see another day and hopefully not another motorcycle accident."

"Yeah let's hope so" Meredith said slowly as she looked up and her eyes widened as the same stud she saw in the elevator that morning came walking around the corner she stood up and tried to wave at him to get his attention. Derek had his nose in a folder and didn't see her or anything else as he walked into an office. Meredith put her hand down feeling disappointed, "what was that" Christina said.

"What was what?" Meredith replied turning her body back round to Cristina.

"That" Cristina put her arm up and imitated Meredith, "the wave."

"Oh I just met him this morning, I just wanted to say hello to him."

"That's Derek Shepherd" Cristina said showing most of her teeth.

"You know him" Meredith said with nervous breath.

"Yeah I know him very well."

"Oh right I see" Meredith said feeling deflated.

"We're not dating honey i'm married to someone else."

Meredith turned crimson, "oh no that's not what I meant."

"I sometime babysit his kids."

"He's married" Meredith blurted out feeling her spirits sink even lower.

"He was" Cristina whispered.

"I see" Meredith said feeling mentally overjoyed for a few seconds and then she felt sickened with herself that she was thinking that way about someone who she didn't even know and who obviously had gone through a rough divorce.

"His kids don't like me very much."

Meredith chuckled in surprise she firmly thought that her new mentor was everyone's best friend, "that can't be right everyone likes you."

"The oldest one hates it when I ask her to clean her room and the youngest one doesn't eat his vegetables no matter how much time I spend preparing them."

"They just sound like your typical every day kids i'm sure they miss you."

"It's nice of you to say that dear anyway we got some things to get done before we call it a day I say we get it done so we can relax."

_Derek POV_

Derek scratched his head as he walked into the day care centre wondering how his kids were doing, "daddy" Cecilia came running into his arms "hey there you are how was your day?"

"Good daddy."

"So day care isn't so boring after all."

Cecilia groaned, "no it is really boring but the food was good." Derek nodded with amusement, "well I guess that's more important how is your brother doing?"

"Daddy" Josh came running from the drawing area and hugged his waist, "hey buddy are you feeling better?"

Josh looked up at Derek with apologetic eyes, "i'm sorry I cried daddy." Derek bent down and hugged his son, "you got nothing to be sorry about champ."

"I made you sad."

"Sam I... look mate its been a big day for all of us so i'm going to get us some McDonalds on the way home okay."

"You are?" Cecilia said looking like Christmas had come early.

"Yes honey I am a happy meal each for you two kids does that sound good."

Cecilia jumped up and down in excitement, Josh smiled widely and Derek grinned at his daughter's behaviour. Five minutes later Derek wandered out of the hospital with Josh balanced on his hip resting his eyes and Cecilia holding his hand skipping alongside him not noticing Meredith standing in the shadows at the end of the corridor watching the three of them with a wide smile on her face.


	2. Chapter 2

Meredith POV

Meredith checked herself in her bathroom mirror as she put on her makeup she winked at her reflection and felt bold enough to take on the world. A knock on the apartment door reached her ears and looking over herself one more time she ran as quickly as she could in her expensive shoes to open the front door she stared at her two friends Arizona and Callie who just stared back at her. "Hey" Meredith said chuckling, "do you want to take a picture of me or are we ready to hit the town?"

"Where did you get that dress?" Callie said looking up and down Meredith's favourite black one piece attire.

"I've had it for so long I can't remember where I got it."

Arizona looked sideways at the love of her life hanging on her arm, "you know honey you should get a dress like that."

"If it would make you happy" Callie said licking her lips at Arizona before kissing her this went on for a good ten seconds before they broke apart for air and Arizona kissed the tip of Callie's nose. "It would make me feel more than just happy" Arizona whispered seductively.

Meredith looked at her shoes and Arizona spotting Meredith's face out of the corner of her eye gently nudged her girlfriend in the ribs, "Callie I think we're making our new friend feel uncomfortable."

Callie smiled apologetically and then she narrowed her eyes as she looked once more at Meredith's dress, "I suppose I shouldn't say I was wishing you were gay right about now"

Meredith felt like stepping back into her apartment and closing the door, "what does that mean?" she said nervously to Callie.

"Well I was having a fantasy the other night which stared me... my gorgeous Arizona and well..."

"Okay i'm sorry to say it I am feeling a bit uncomfortable...well actually more than a bit could we please."

"Sorry Meredith" Arizona said she gently squeezed Callie's but and then breathed out, "we won't have any more dirty sexy gay talk tonight I promise."

_At the foundation nightclub_

Izzie walked up to where Meredith was drinking a cocktail and sighed, "you know Meri you might not have noticed it but there has been at least twenty dudes checking you out from the moment you set foot in this nightclub."

Meredith couldn't help but smile at the compliment, "I didn't really notice."

"And you haven't allowed one of them to buy you a drink."

"I don't like people I don't know buying things for me it makes me feel greedy."

"Meredith" Izzie said tapping her hands on her own bare knees, "i've often wondered why you are single."

"Izzie could we not-"

"Now I think I know why, it's because you're too nice."

Meredith stared at the significant amount of fluid left in her alcoholic drink that she hadn't drank in the last ten minutes feeling like she somehow didn't belong in the nightclub, "i'm not...am I?" she said.

"A hot woman like you should have no trouble getting laid." Meredith turned away in embarrassment as Izzie leaned in grinning like a teenager, "but because you are constantly acting like the perfect kindergarten teacher."

"Izzie it's just because I don't want to get involved with someone who only cares about the way a woman looks, I want someone who will love me for who I am."

"Well how will you ever find your prince if you don't give any of the frogs a chance you know just kiss them until one of them turns into the man of your dreams its simple isn't it?"

Meredith had an image of herself smooching green frogs and she shuddered, Izzie noticing her reaction leaned back on the barstool and looked at the dg as he started up a new track. "Okay i'll give it a rest" she said, "I just want to see my friend happy with a dude that's all."

"I'm not your only friend Izzie who isn't with a dude what about Callie and Arizona they're happy right?"

Izzie glanced at the two of them moving intimately together in the middle of the dance floor and she snorted, "those two might as well have signs on their backs saying we're gay get used to it. I knew them for twenty minutes before they told me they were in a relationship with each other."

"It's nice that they're so close."

"Yeah I suppose it is."

"Speaking of which" Meredith shuffled closer to Izzie with a bit of a grin on her face, "how is your love life going?"

"It's going fine thank you for asking" Izzie said simply.

"Well you know it would be better if you went around and did a bit of kissing of your own you see the good looking guy to your left trying to get your attention."Meredith watched her friend turn her head in the direction Meredith was pointing, "go for it girl you know be happy with a dude give the frogs a chance."

"Oh ha ha" Izzie said sarcastically, "but seriously if you're not at least talking to someone who isn't wearing high heels by the time I get back i'm taking some serious action." She straighten her shoulders before walking over to speak to the guy eyeing her and Meredith smiled as she sipped her drink and watched Callie and Arizona walking outside hand in hand. _Maybe I do need to get out there_ she thought to herself, _I saw a gorgeous guy at work today and what did I do I got his head squished in an elevator._

Derek POV

Derek was lying in his bed sound asleep until the sound of crying interrupted his dreams, he quickly shot out of bed put on a pair of pants as fast as he could manage in his half awake state and then he ran to the kids' bedroom and opened the door. He saw Josh crying in his bed and Cecilia hugging her brother.

"Josh" Derek said with rapid breath, Cecilia turned her head, "daddy Josh had another nightmare." Derek nodded as he walked over and took Josh in his arms and rubbed his back until Josh hiccupped and stared at Derek, "hey little buddy do you know where you are" Derek whispered.

"In a dark place" Josh said Derek turned on Cecilia's fairy lamp, "okay now where do you think you are?"

Josh looked around the room at his sister and then at his daddy, "home i'm home."

"That's right... okay now i'm going to get you some milk and then all three of us will tell those nightmares to go away and stay away."

"They never listen to you daddy" Cecilia said as she hopped out into the hallway, "they keep coming back."

"Well we'll just keep trying Cecilia" Derek said as he bounced Josh gently on his hip. "I wish I didn't have nightmares" Josh whispered. Derek rubbed his head gently, "I wish you didn't have nightmares either mate but everyone has nightmares, it's just something we got to live with."

"Daddy do you have nightmares?" Cecilia asked as Derek put Josh down in the kitchen and opened up the fridge door, "I have a lot of nightmares Cecilia."

"Who comes to tell your nightmares to go away?" Cecilia whispered.

Derek poured a glass of milk and Josh started to drink it he then smiled at his daughter, "I just say it to myself and hope for the best."

Josh looked up at Derek from his glass, "so I should tell myself not to have nightmares and then they will disappear dad?"

"That's a good idea Josh."

"Should I do that too Daddy." Derek turned his gaze to Cecilia, "when you have nightmares yes, but you never have nightmares."

"I have dreams that are sad does that count?"

"What dreams are those" Derek said as he bended down to Cecilia's level to look her in the eye.

Cecilia looked at her hands before looking up slowly into Derek's eyes, "I dream I have a mommy."

"A mommy?" Derek whispered.

"A mommy who is really beautiful and has eyes that sparkle who loves me and Josh and who also loves my daddy too. I'm always really happy when I dream about her but then I wake up and i'm sad that's she gone."

Derek nodded slowly with wide caring eyes, "do you remember when I told you about your mother how she is in heaven the happiest place on earth."

Cecilia nodded, "even though we can't see her or hear her or hug her she is always watching over us."

"Yeah so you do have a mommy who loves both of you she's just like the wind even though you might be not be able to see her it doesn't mean she isn't there." Cecilia nodded sadly Derek gave her a hug and kissed her cheek and Josh finished his milk, "daddy can we stay in your bed tonight?" Josh asked.

"Josh you know why you can't do that."

"Because we're not allowed unless we're really scared" Josh said. "Like really really scared" Cecilia added.

"It's because you need to sleep without my help, because some day you two will be so big there won't be enough room in my bed for the three of us you two will squish me." Cecilia smirked at Derek's comment.

"And because my bed is lonely without me" Josh said with wide eyes.

"That's also true."

"What if Josh has more nightmares" Cecilia pointed her finger at Derek, "what will you the daddy do then?"

Derek casually shrugged his shoulders, "well then i'll get him more milk."

"What if we run out of milk?" Cecilia said putting her hands on her hips.

"Well then Josh will be on the toilet all night from drinking all that milk he won't get to sleep."

Cecilia laughed "your funny daddy."

"I know that's one of my good points." Derek picked up both of his children in his arms, "anyway the daddy says that the kids need some sleep" as he walked upstairs and tucked his two kids into their beds. He leaned in close to Josh and whispered, "listen Josh if you have any more nightmares tonight you can sleep in my bed."

"Can I as well?" Cecilia said.

"As long as you don't hide under the bed and jump out to surprise me when I get up tomorrow morning."

"I won't "Cecilia said smirking, "it isn't that funny when I do it twice."

"Yeah i'm sure it isn't" Derek said sarcastically before kissing his kids foreheads, "goodnight guys I love you very much."

"Love you too daddy" Josh said smiling.

"What you said times two" Cecilia replied.

Derek smiled and left the room Cecilia looked at the bedroom door and started to wish like she did every night that a mommy would come into the room and smile before kissing her and her brother goodnight. She waited and waited and wished over and over in her heart with her eyes closed and her tiny palms clasped together she opened her eyes and nobody was there. Cecilia looked at her sleeping brother and at the glow in the dark stickers on the bedroom ceiling as a tear slowly slid down her pale cheek, "I wish I had a real mommy" she whispered.

Meredith POV

It was morning the very next day and Meredith was already exhausted she had came home very late from the nightclub because Izzie has stayed true to her word and had gotten Meredith to dance with at least five different men she couldn't remember exactly how many blokes Izzie had invited over to chat Meredith up. Meredith hadn't been interested in any of them she had just wanted a chance to escape which finally happened when Izzie went to the club's bathroom and Meredith pulling away from the man who in her opinion was only looking to get into her pants quickly ran for the exit.

She had come in early to try and cement her place in her supervisor's good books and finish her first week on a good note. As soon as she walked through the entrance doors of Seattle Grace hospital she saw the same gorgeous man she had seen yesterday walking out of the day care unit of the hospital several meters ahead of her. She quickly brushed her hair with her hands and started to walk quickly in the hope that she would catch Derek, walk by his side and then he would notice her and they could have another conversation which would be hopefully much more interesting than the last one they had. Meredith walked quickly then she heard the sound her high heeled shoes were making on the tiles and she stopped not wanting Derek to notice her by turning around to see what was making that noise she wanted to do this as casually as possible. She slipped off her shoes and with one free hand carrying them she walked quickly hoping to walk beside Derek hoping to catch his eye and talk with him hoping to... that was as far as she got as she tripped over her own long stockings and fell in a heap onto the shiny floor. She stared facedown at the clean tiles her face burning like the sun and then she felt two strong gentle hands softly taking her arms and helping her to her feet she looked up at Derek trying her best to look calm and controlled and she saw Derek's handsome features twisted into a cross between concern and awkwardness. "Thank you" Meredith said quickly, "um it's a nice day isn't it."

"Yeah it is" Derek said looking at the rain outside the window, "I guess."

"Well...I got to go see you."

"Wait your shoes."

"Oh yeah um I was just, they're a bit uncomfortable thanks bye," Meredith grabbed her shoes and books from the floor before darting into the elevator at the end of the corridor not looking back. _Could that have gone any worse_ she thought as she pushed a button with her back turned to Derek, as soon as the doors closed she slumped onto the floor and started to put her shoes on. She didn't know why she had been so confident yesterday and such a ditz today. She found herself reflecting back to when she had last behaved like that when she was a fourteen year old kid and had a crush on her high school science teacher who one day had accidently bumped into her in the middle of a playground because Meredith had been looking at a rainbow in the sky.

"Meredith pull yourself together remember last night, I should be putting myself out there more otherwise Izzie will never give me any privacy." She immediately felt guilty she felt like she was chasing after a guy who might not even want to be in a relationship because he was still emotionally attached to his ex wife not to mention his wife wouldn't approve that a woman was behaving like this around the father of her children. She had heard plenty of stories from articles on the internet how ill advised it was to pursue a relationship with a single parent there were so many complications involved.

Meredith finished putting on her shoes and rose to her feet trying to dismiss all of these thoughts that were swimming around in her brain, "get a grip Meredith this is just a normal reaction," _and it was wasn't it_ thought Meredith doesn't every single woman have these thoughts when they want to talk to a dreamboat who is working in the same job. "That's it" Meredith said, "I just want to know more about him that's it, all of these silly thoughts don't mean anything I just want a new friend and that's it." The elevator doors opened and Meredith saw a confused woman outside the doors looking around. Meredith for the second time in five minutes felt highly embarrassed that her talking to herself was much louder that what she intended and she quickly flew out the doors.

She sat later in the cafeteria looking at the uneaten food on her tray trying not to think about her morning. She hadn't been able to concentrate on her work, she was distracted by the thoughts of the humiliating incident with Derek and she had been told to leave by her supervisor right in the middle of an operation. This was only Meredith's first week she wanted to finish on a good note not finish up getting into trouble with her supervisor this job meant the world to her she had worked so hard to get it. A thought in her head also told her that if she was let go from her job she would never see Derek again and her heart ached. She breathed out trying to calm herself, "there is just a few hours left Meredith" she said and then she realised she was talking to herself again and she put her forehead in the palms of her hands.

"You are one distracted surgeon" Meredith heard Cristina say as she sat down on the opposite side of the table.

"I can't believe I messed up like that, I mean I handed the supervisor a mouse mat when she asked me for a retractor."

"She thought it was funny Meredith."

"Great that's me, Meredith Grey the worst nurse."

"Surgeon sweetheart and a dam good one if you ask me." Meredith looked up from her lunch tray, "I told the other workers that you were just stressed from your first week and they understood. Your new here Meredith this takes some getting used to you weren't focused today that doesn't mean you'll get fired."

"Thanks Cristina I don't know why i'm like this."

"Well somebody told me you decided to run into the hospital without shoes this morning."

Meredith shot up like a rocket and started to wave her hands around in circles as her brain struggled to say something clever, "I was just taking them off because my stockings are too long and I wanted to pull them up."

Cristina giggled, "Derek was very concerned."

"Well" Meredith felt warm inside and she tried her best to ignore the feeling, "he seems like a nice guy."

"He's a very nice guy even if he isn't the best talker with the ladies."

"Yeah" Meredith said feeling a bit calmer, "I guess that's true does he always tell lame jokes when he meets someone new?"

"All the time and even when he knows you for a long time he still tells the same bad jokes."

"How long have you known him for?"

"A while for quite a few years actually we went to medical school together and we ended up here."

"That's a long time," Meredith said as she drank her water.

"Yeah I know him very well, for example I know when he has his eye on a special lady."

Meredith spluttered as the water in her mouth spilled onto the table she cried out and Cristina trying hard not to laugh handed her some paper towel. Meredith quickly wiped up the mess constantly saying sorry until she finished and sat back down on her chair wishing the floor underneath her would just swallow her up so she could be done feeling like an idiot for the day.

"Like I was saying he looked like he was on another planet when I saw him this morning and I haven't seen him look like that since the day he met Addison."

"His ex wife?"

"Ex wife?" Cristina said looking confused.

"Well didn't you say they were divorced?"

"No honey" Cristina leaned in close Meredith took the cue and edged closer listening intently. Cristina took a deep breath and whispered, "Addison died in a car accident three years ago."

Meredith stared straight ahead feeling her heart swell up with sorrow and guilt. "Meredith" Cristina whispered.

"Um I think I should go and get ready for the afternoon."

"Okay but Meredith-"

"Can we talk later?"

Cristina nodded quickly, "sure honey sure."

"Thank you" Meredith got up and walked out of the cafeteria feeling a new range of thoughts building inside her head she had never even stopped to consider if Derek was a widower and she didn't even care about what Cristina said about Derek having his eye on a woman. All she could think about was how sorry she felt for Derek and the pain he must have gone through and was more than likely still going through. "Meredith you should never have tried to mess him around like this" she said to herself.

A few hours later and Meredith with sheer grit and determination had made it through the day without any more huge blunders the supervisor had talked to her afterwards and assured her that she was not angry with her for her previous mistakes and that she had nothing to worry about. Meredith knew better than to assume that all was right with her job, she knew she was going to have to pull out all the stops to impress her workers next week. She checked over the things in her locker making sure her valuables weren't inside it and straightening out her clothes she walked out the door with the intention of going home to unwind but at that moment she saw somebody she wished she could get out of her head bending down to tie his shoelaces. Meredith thought about turning around and walking the other way then she bunched her fists up _enough is enough_ she thought to herself. She walked over to Derek "hi" she whispered, Derek looked up into Meredith's eyes and Meredith felt her knees tremble, "thank you for helping me this morning" she blurted out.

Derek stood up and started to scratch the back of his head, "um yeah it was, I mean no problem your welcome."

_Meredith relax_ she thought to herself, "seriously it was very nice of you and to say thank you for not laughing at me I was wondering if I could _don't say buy you a coffee... but then again._

"Actually um" Derek said smiling nervously, "I got to pick up my kids they hate it when i'm late it's just cause they hate day care."

"It isn't as fun as the day care people say it is or."

Derek nodded, "I guess its cause they hate being stuck in there all day every day."

Meredith smiled widely, "it must be because they miss you terribly."

"Yeah I suppose" Meredith saw the man's face light up and she felt happier with herself that she was somewhat responsible for his mood lift. "Do you mind if I walk with you?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah sure I mean" Derek cleared his throat loudly and finished his sentence, "of course its fine."

Meredith just smiled warmly _making someone feel better is never a bad thing_. Meredith walked silently beside Derek until she decided that once again she would have to make the first move, "so have you always lived in Seattle?"

"I was born in New York and then I moved here when I grew up and I went to medical school. I'm guessing you know all of this from Cristina huh."

"She is very talkative which I love and she is someone who I would like to be good friends with."

"Well she's a great friend" Derek said Meredith saw him smiling presumably at the thought and her fondness of the man increased, "Derek if it's alright with you I would like to be your friend too," _and something more than that no stop thinking these thoughts._ "It's just that i'm new to Seattle and I have met a few friends in the hospital but you can never have too many friends."

"I would like that" Derek said simply stopping in his tracks to look at Meredith. Meredith noticed the lack of comfort in his eyes and she tried smiling as her way to make him feel more comfortable with her but all she could do was stare into them they were so warm and kind. Derek looked at his watch "shit um sorry I am just late."

"Sure no worries" Meredith muttered reluctantly stopping her view of Derek's face and resumed to walking beside him, she saw Derek looking even more uncomfortable than before _no wonder he's so on edge Meredith he doesn't want you to see his kids maybe if you just walk out the door while he's distracted._

"Daddy your late again" a little girl's voice said.

"Sorry petal" Meredith saw a beautiful little girl and she stopped to watch her running towards her daddy she had long dark hair, eyes that Meredith assumed had been inherited from Addison and a pretty face with rosy cheeks and a smile showing several missing front teeth which made her in Meredith's firm opinion absolutely adorable. She watched her giving Derek a hug and her heart melted. "Josh" Derek called and Meredith's heart melted even more into gooey mush as a small boy with long dark hair and a face as cute as a button ran into Derek's embrace holding him with a large smile stretching from ear to ear. Meredith had seen them the day before walking along in the corridor but this was something else.

"Daddy can we have McDonalds again" the girl said.

"Cecilia do you remember the meal I prepared for us this morning?"

"But you are late" Cecilia replied frowning slightly with her arms crossed, "and the punishment is two happy meals with toys and chicken nuggets for the kids."

Derek rolled his eyes, "if I give you too much junk food you're going to end up like the neighbour's fat cat."

"Okay" Cecilia said sighing in defeat, "sorry Josh I tired."

"It's okay Cecilia" Josh said patting Cecilia on the shoulder.

"Yeah it's more than okay actually" Derek said grinning, "because vegetables are so tasty and good for you and-"

Cecilia stuck out her tongue and Josh laughed at her. Derek sniggered too before he stood up and reached for the children's hands, "okay you two ratbags we're going home."

"Daddy who's that" Josh said pointing at Meredith. Meredith realising there she had missed her chance to escape before the kids noticed her bent down and smiled warmly at the pair of them. Derek gave Meredith a look of appreciation and then he nodded down at his two children, "Meredith this is Josh my son and Cecilia my daughter, Cecilia and Josh this is Meredith she's a friend of mine from the hospital."

Meredith looked at the two children half expecting a response the other half of her knowing that they would probably just ignore her. The response from the boy was totally understandable he put his fingers in his mouth and walked behind Derek's legs. The girl's response was something out of the blue she just stared at Meredith with wide eyes and an open mouth as if Meredith was an alien from outer space.

"Well I think we should get going" Meredith saw Derek picking up his son and taking her daughter's hand and she looked up to wave goodbye at Derek. "Bye Meredith" Derek said before looking at his daughter, Cecilia we need to go." Cecilia just continued to stare at Meredith as still as a statue and Derek waved a hand in front of her face, "earth to Cecilia we need to go home." Cecilia just pointed at Meredith who felt the same uncomfortable feelings that had haunted her too many times today already returning. "Cecilia" Derek said firmly, "it's rude to stare and point at people now if we don't go home now you're getting a double serve of the veggies I have made." Cecilia at last nodded with her mouth still hanging open and walked backwards holding her daddy's hand staring at Meredith. Meredith stared back trying to smile at the little girl until she saw the family walk out the door and she closed her eyes trying to free her mind so she could finally stop thinking about Derek for the day.

Derek's POV

Derek put Josh into the car seat and then he turned to look at Cecilia still staring at the hospital, "okay magicians" Derek said sighing, "why did you put a spell on my daughter she's frozen stiff."

"Merrobut" the girl whispered.

"What" Derek said bewildered.

"Merrobut" the girl repeated.

"You mean Meredith Cecilia?"

"Merbastuff" the girl said trying to pronounce the name.

"Its Meredith Cecilia, the woman you just saw in the hospital."

Cecilia looked up at Derek with wide eyes, "is she a princess?"

"No she's a nurse."

"But she's so beautiful she must be a princess."

"Well last time I checked she's a nurse" Derek said as he strapped Josh into his special car seat.

"But her smile is so big" Cecilia pulled her mouth at the corners with her fingers to show her daddy how wide Meredith's smile was "and it was a really really really nice smile, so she must be-"

"Cecilia can we go home" Derek said sighing not wanting to think about how embarrassed he had felt when Cecilia had stared at Meredith like she was Santa Claus, "before it gets dark" he added.

Cecilia nodded as she hopped into her own car seat and Derek strapped her in he looked at his sleeping son before he felt Cecilia's hands grabbing his shirt to get her daddy's attention, "are you friends with her daddy?"

"Yes" Derek said as he got into the driver's seat.

"Good friends?"

Derek turned around to look at her, "we've only just met we can't be good friends that quickly."

"Will you be really good friends?"

"Well perhaps" Derek said noticing a strong feeling of hope inside of him _am I hoping I will see Meredith again?_ he wondered.

"Like really really good friends?" Cecilia said.

"What do you mean really really good friends Cecilia?"

"Like" Cecilia smirked before she puffed up her lips and made kissing noises. Derek felt butterflies in his stomach and he started up the car, "okay i'm taking us home right now."

"Daddy is she married?"

"I don't know probably" Derek said not wanting to think about the possibility of Meredith not being available, "i'll put on your favourite cd."

"Daddy is she your girlfriend?"

"Cecilia can you please not give your daddy a headache."

"Daddy is she-"

"Cecilia Shepherd" Derek said in a raised voice, "that is enough do you want to go to bed when we get home?"

"No daddy i'll be quiet" Cecilia said feeling very disappointed. Derek gave another loud sigh and started to drive in the direction of his house trying to think about nothing except getting his family home safe and sound.


	3. Chapter 3

Derek POV

Derek rolled over in his sleep and a second later he shot up in bed slapping his own face, he rubbed his skin feeling cold water and then he looked at Cecilia holding a half full glass of water. Derek let out a huff and Cecilia giggled, "Cecilia what did you do that for?"

"Good morning daddy I made a big breakfast for you and it was getting cold."

"So you decided to give me a shower in my own bed?"

Cecilia clasped her hands together in a megaphone shape around her mouth, "I said daddy please wake up." She removed her hands from her mouth, "but you were snoring so loud" Cecilia finished dramatically before making snoring noises with her nose.

Derek leaned forward with a scowl on his face, "Cecilia number one don't wake me up by pouring a glass of water on my head, number two I have told you many times not to make breakfast because you always burn things and number three..."Cecilia looked at her feet with her eyes filled with tears and Derek forced himself to calm down, "okay look i'm sorry I shouldn't be yelling." Derek saw his daughter rub her eyes and feeling awful he put his hand on his daughter's shoulder, "Cecilia it's alright you're not in trouble." Cecilia looked up at Derek with a wide smile, "thanks daddy you're the best." She skipped merrily out of the room and Derek looked at his cupboard dumbfounded, "what the heck just happened?" he said to himself.

Ten minutes later Derek blew air loudly through his lips as he stared at the charcoal burnt bacon lying in the charcoal black pan he looked down at his daughter hugging his legs, "bon appétit daddy" Cecilia said smiling sweetly up at him.

"You know Cecilia when you said the food was getting cold I don't think it really matters when burnt food goes cold because it still tastes likes ash."

Cecilia nibbled at a piece of bacon, "I think it tastes lovely."

"You really think so huh, okay thank you Cecilia but next time don't make breakfast or else i'll-"

"Do nothing" Cecilia said quickly.

"Really" Derek said with an eyebrow raised.

"You never punish us because that's what good daddy's do."

The doorbell rang and Derek smiled wickedly to himself, "honey why don't you close your eyes."

"Why daddy" Cecilia said with curiosity showing on her facial features, "who is at the door?"

"Just close your eyes you'll get a lovely surprise."

"I'm getting a present" Cecilia said with wide eyes and an excited smile.

"That's right sweetie" Derek said chuckling, "you're getting a lovely present." Cecilia put her hands on her eyes and Derek strolling cheerfully to the door opened it to find Cristina smiling at him. Derek put a finger to his lips and beckoned her through where Cecilia was waiting in the kitchen with her eyes squeezed shut and her hands stretched out in front of her.

"Okay Cecilia here is your present" Derek said. Cecilia opened her eyes and Derek started to chuckle seeing the look of horror on his daughter's face, "your favourite babysitter is here Cecilia."

"Hi Cecilia" Cristina said chuckling with Derek, "your daddy has said that there is lots of cleaning to be done and because you're so good at looking after the house i'm sure you'll help me."

Cecilia looked at her daddy with wide fearful eyes, Derek just smiled warmly at her and started to walk to the door, "have fun Cecilia."

Cecilia ran to grab her daddy's hand, "where are you going?"

"To the shops" Derek gently removed her daughter's hand from his own and he bent down to grin at her, "and if this house isn't spotless by the time I get back we're having all kinds of vegetables for tea."

"Wait Daddy please i'm sorry please i'm-"

"Thank you Cristina" Derek said, "don't go easy on her" he added as he walked out the door and stretched his arms before heading to his car with a spring in his step.

A half hour later Derek scratched his nose at he looked at the items on the supermarket shelves he glanced at his list and walked through the dairy isle searching for cheese when he felt his trolley colliding with something and he heard someone crying out in pain. Derek's head snapped forward and he ran to pick up a woman sitting on the floor, "man i'm so sorry I...Meredith." He saw Meredith looking up at him and felt the weight of her body in her arms for a moment he felt nothing but feelings of tranquillity then he remembered what their situation was, he gently pulled Meredith to her feet. "Listen i'm really sorry I should have been watching where I was going not looking at the food."

"It's okay Derek" Meredith whispered, Derek looked at her face and he could do nothing but stare into her glowing eyes, "I... I guess I had better get-"

"No um" Meredith stammered, "I mean I still didn't thank you properly for the other day you know with me tripping over in the hallway and you being nice."

"Do you really need to thank me" Derek scratched his own ear and stared apologetically at Meredith, "I just crashed into you with my trolley."

"Well then you can do something to make it up to me" Meredith said.

"Sure" Derek replied feeling confused, "sorry like what?"

"Well can you help me do my shopping if it's alright?"

"Shopping" Derek said nodding he clapped his hands together, "yeah sure I can do that."

Meredith POV

Meredith walked alongside Derek wheeling her trolley alongside Derek's she found herself smiling until a man walking past glared at her and she realised she and Derek were taking up the entire isle walking side by side, "you know we're taking up a lot of room."

"Yeah your right" Derek muttered, "would you mind if we just use the one trolley so that people aren't giving us weird looks."

"That's just what I was thinking" Meredith and Derek worked together putting food from Meredith's trolley into Derek's and once they put the spare trolley near the entrance Meredith walked closely by Derek's side enjoying his presence and feeling annoyed every time she had to break away to grab items from the shelf. She kept staring at him trying to read his thoughts and wishing he would talk to her until she finally took the initiative, "so do you like shopping?" she said.

"Yeah I actually do its one of those times where I don't really have to worry much about anything it's just so peaceful." Meredith giggled, "I know it sound weird" Derek said as he himself started to smile.

"Funny enough it's the same reason I enjoy shopping myself."

"Is that just supermarket shopping or all kinds of shopping?"

"I hate shopping for clothes" Meredith muttered she saw Derek giving her a funny look and she frowned, "I know you might think it's weird but just because-"

"No no I don't think it's weird or anything like that it's just that your always dressed nicely it made me think you were a shopaholic." Meredith felt a strong urge to look at her feet in embarrassment, _don't blush please don't blush_ she kept thinking.

"I mean" Derek continued, "every time I shop for clothes it's always a pain because not only have I got no fashion sense according to my family, I also got to think about clothes that my daughter wants to wear and I always end up buying her boy's clothes."

"We agree on something then."

"Yeah clothes shopping... I don't know why some people like it."

"Yeah" Meredith said as she realised he was trying to think of something else to say and she quickly changed the subject herself, "so how are your kids?"

"Well my daughter is currently cleaning the kitchen right about now with help from Cristina."

"Cristina is babysitting and she is getting your kid to tidy up" Meredith smirked, "that is interesting."

"Well she did pour cold water on my head to wake me up and then she made a mess of my frying pan while trying to cook bacon." Meredith laughed and Derek soon joined in they laughed for a good twenty seconds before Meredith finally hiccupped, "sounds like you have your hands full" she said.

"Yeah I do that reminds me i'm sorry Cecilia stared at you the other day she told me it was because she thought you were very beautiful."

Meredith had to focus for all she was worth not to look away "i'm glad" she said simply too afraid to ask if Derek agreed with his daughter, "how's Josh" she whispered.

"Josh sleeps like a log it's starting to worry me actually I mean I know kids that age need a lot of sleep but Josh wakes up eats and then he goes back to sleep, he's like a baby sloth."

"You're probably worrying too much it's the sign of a good parent."

"Yeah I probably am" Derek shook his head trying to smile, "i'm letting one of my best friends discipline my kids because i'm no good at it. Every time I say to them that i'll punish them when they do something wrong I back out of it five seconds later. You should have heard Cecilia this morning she was walking all over me and she thinks that good dad's never punish their kids."

"It's possible that you love them a little too much that's all, besides they seem like good kids."

"Yeah thanks um well I-" Derek glanced at his watch and Meredith realising what he was about to say blurted out "you haven't told me anything more about yourself" then she realised how stupid her sentence was. Derek had told her he hated clothes shopping as much as Meredith did and he had told her all about his adventures of parenting. Meredith was thankful Derek wasn't correcting her she watched him shuffle his shoes, "well there's not much to say I mean I work part time and i'm a parent the rest of the time."

Meredith took a deep breath as she prepared himself to say what she was thinking, "well seeing as you and I don't know each other that well and we keep bumping into each other and I still owe you a favour for not laughing at me the other day. What about we go to the bakery just across the street and i'll buy us some coffee?"

"Oh um" Derek said looking uncomfortable, "listen that's very nice of you but I-" Meredith felt her heart sink, "I mean i'll buy the coffee" Derek finished.

Meredith's spirits rose at Derek's words she tried hard to look casual, "no I will buy the coffee" she said.

"I will" Derek said with a lopsided grin, "because I like being a gentleman."

"And I like being nice to my friends" Meredith said smiling right back at him.

"Well I like spending money and spoiling lovely ladies like yourself." That time Meredith couldn't stop herself her face glowed like it was on fire and Derek grinned at her reaction. Meredith finally found the courage to speak again, "well then i'll buy you something and you'll buy me something and nothing too expensive."

"Okay I guess we have a deal Meredith."

"Shake on it" Meredith said, Derek took her hand in a gentle shake and Meredith pulled away out of worry that she wouldn't be able to say anything if Derek held her hand for too long.

They paid for their shopping and Meredith walked by Derek's side trotting to keep up with Derek's long steps until Derek noticed that she was lagging behind and he offered a hand to her, "here let me carry those bags."

"No its okay thanks."

"Come on i'm not going to run off with them" Derek said smirking Meredith smirked back, "this is probably the best exercise I have for strengthening my arms."

"Yeah well it's still polite" Derek said.

"If you're so keen you could carry my handbag."

Derek rolled his eyes, "unless it looks manly i'm going to have to refuse."

"And there was me thinking you were a gentlemen" Meredith grinned before she put her acting skills to work, "i'm being weighed down by all these heavy groceries and you are just going to watch me suffer."

"Okay give me your handbag" Derek held out his hand.

"Derek I was only joking."

"Well now I feel terrible so this will make me feel better come on give me the handbag."

Meredith chuckled to herself as she handed him what he was after, _he's starting to come out of his shell_ _and i'm acting like my brain is switched on _she thought to herself, "so what would you like me to buy you?" she asked Derek once they reached the coffee shop.

"Well a muffin would be nice" Derek said, "every time I get one I always have two kids pleading with me to share it." Meredith smiled _he is one affectionate father_ she thought. Derek looked at the range of cakes, "and what can I get you?"

"A latte please" Meredith answered.

"You don't want me to get you something to eat as well?"

"No Derek you're not going to tempt me a latte would be lovely and i'll get you one of those choc chip muffins."

"Okay" Derek muttered he stared at the shopping bags in their hands, "what do you want to do about the shopping?"

"Just leave it by a table."

"What if somebody takes it?"

"Well then we'll run after them tackle them to the ground and take it back." She noticed Derek was looking at her with admiration, "for a nurse you sure aren't afraid of conflict" he said.

"Surgeon Derek and you need a strong will and stomach to do the job well."

"Right you know I get that, i'm a neurosurgeon myself."

"Really" Meredith said with astonishment.

"You seem surprised."

"I just pictured you as a doctor that's all who makes the elderly happy and gives out lollipops to children every time they visit."

"That was the original plan, but then I started to learn about neurosurgery and it just interested me I find it an exciting challenge every time I do an operation."

"That's kind of like the feeling I receive when i'm involved in an operation, it's the scare that keeps me focused and the joy of saving lives that makes me want to do it again."

"You sound like you've done a lot in your first week."

"It has been overwhelming I always worry about screwing up and then last Friday in the middle of an operation I handed my supervisor a mouse mat."

"Well computers are getting to be more popular in hospitals these days." Meredith pretended to laugh at the joke and Derek seemed to read her mind, "i'm sorry I really need to lean better jokes my son loves jokes but when I tell him a joke he just looks at me confused and when I tell a staff member a joke they look at me like i'm losing my marbles."

"Keep practicing you'll get there" Meredith said as a means to reassure him as they got their orders and sat down on either side of their table, "just don't make too many sarcastic jokes."

"Like those characters from sitcom shows."

"Yeah those kinds of dudes, what do you think of those shows?"

"I like them it's just that it's hard to find time to watch them when-"

"The kids" Meredith said simply.

"Yeah Cecilia loves the little mermaid I swear I have memorised every line in that film." Meredith chuckled, "there you go" she said.

"Huh" Derek muttered clearly puzzled.

"That there, the little mermaid that was a good joke."

"No it wasn't" Derek muttered as he took a bite of his muffin, "it was complaining."

"It was a funny joke" Meredith said her hand went to grab the shaker and her forearm knocked her purse to the ground Derek went to grab it and Meredith followed to grab it. Derek got to the purse first and Meredith's hand covered Derek's. "You got it" Meredith said looking at her purse before looking up to see how close her face was to Derek her nose gently brushed his, her eyes were gazing deep into his her lips were close enough...

"I need to go" Derek said interrupting Meredith's thoughts she quickly stood up and grabbed his forearm not wanting this afternoon to ever end, "you could stay and we could have more coffee."

"I want to its just I feel bad for Cristina, i'm the one who should look after my kids."

"Okay" Meredith feeling slightly embarrassed that she had grabbed Derek's arm like she was desperate for his company but more than that she felt disappointed that he was leaving, "thank you for the coffee and the chat" she said as she watched him gather up his shopping, "it's nice to laugh once in a while" she finished lamely.

"Yeah it is" Derek muttered not looking at her, "i'll see you at work."

"Yeah" Meredith said she watched Derek finally look her in the eye and smile which made her heart swell and then she saw him wander off and she sat down in her chair staring at the latte the only thing she had that was even remotely linked to Derek. _You got too close and you made him feel uncomfortable again _she thought then she smiled as she thought back on the time she and Derek had spent together she hadn't enjoyed herself in so long, she hadn't felt this comfortable with anyone in a long time. Meredith knew they had great chemistry together, _but he doesn't want to be in a relationship and who can blame him you should just be his friend_ she thought, _or maybe he feels the same about you as you feel about him _Meredith closed her eyes feeling warm at the thought.

Derek POV

Derek's head was in a spin he hadn't been so engaged with anyone in three years he had laughed smiled and he had loved spending every minute with Meredith he reflected on the moment when he had gone under the coffee table and Meredith's beautiful face had been so close to his own. He had seen a look of desire in her eyes and his instinct, his want, his own desire was to breach the gap between his lips and Meredith's lips and then an image of Addison had flashed through his mind. He had said he wanted to leave because he didn't know how to explain to Meredith a woman he felt a connection with but all the same barely knew that he felt like he was betraying Addison's spirit by wanting to kiss someone else. Derek felt his spirits sinking he felt guilty and he felt horrible inside for Addison and for Meredith, for Addison because he felt like he was breaking his promise to be hers forever and to Meredith because he had made up a lousy excuse on the spot to leave her and that he had unintentionally hurt her feeling. She didn't know if Meredith had feelings for him or not he just kept trying to deny the fact that he had developed feelings for her in the few short sessions that he had spent with her. "Derek mate you promised Addison you would be with her forever and you're going to keep that promise and all this you're feeling for Meredith it's just a crush it will go away."

He opened the door and he looked around seeing a wiped down clean kitchen then he heard running footsteps and Cecilia came running into his waist to hug him, "daddy" she said in a cheerful voice. "Hey sweet pea" Derek said as he swept her up in his arms and kissed her cheek, "you've done a great job cleaning this kitchen."

Cecilia nodded, "i'm sorry daddy I made you mad this morning and I was naughty."

"Well forgive and forget, i'm proud of you that you cleaned the whole house."

"Josh helped too" Cecilia said as Derek walked through the house balancing Cecilia on his hip, "he worked so hard he fell asleep while doing work."

"Your brother loves sleeping he's like a baby koala isn't he."

Cecilia giggled, "Cristina put him to bed."

"Right that's good of Cristina."

"And then she went to bed."

"Really" Derek looked into the living room and he laughed lightly with Cecilia as they watched Cristina snoring on the couch. Derek put Cecilia down and finding Josh's blanket lying on the floor he gently lied it on her and walked out with Cecilia shutting the door, "and you managed to stay awake" he said.

"I did wide awake the whole time."

Derek narrowed his eyes, "does that mean you're not tired from cleaning."

"Not tired at all."

"So did you do much cleaning?"

"Lots of cleaning look at my hands" Cecilia said showing Derek her dirty palms and then she realised what Derek was saying, "you know daddy i'm really tired as well from all the cleaning I did."

"Uh huh you got more energy than a packet of batteries anyway, are you ready for dinner?"

"What is for dinner?"

"Well remember I said this morning that we were going to have vegetables." Cecilia opened her mouth in shock, "but you said we wouldn't have any vegetables if we cleaned the house."

"No I said we wouldn't have every kind of vegetables" Derek bent down smiling warmly at Cecilia, "we'll have a few vegies because they're so good for us."

Cecilia groaned as she flopped onto her back on the floor and Derek smirked as he got onto his knees and started to tickle his daughter. Cecilia rolled around waving her arms and laughing her head off until Cristina came running into the kitchen, "thank goodness it's you I thought it was a burglar."

"I'm sorry I woke you up" Derek said as he looked up at Cristina, "if you like you can stay the night and go back to sleep on the couch."

"I had better go home myself before Owen starts worrying" she bent down and ruffled Cecilia's head, "bye Cecilia."

Cecilia gave her a hug, "bye auntie Cristina."

"Auntie Cristina?" Derek muttered.

"Can I can her auntie Cristina daddy?"

"Well sure if you want and if it's alright with Cristina."

"Its fine" Cristina said smiling kindly at Cecilia.

"Dad" Josh said as he came running into the kitchen, "the house is clean."

"Yes it is thanks to you and your sister and Cristina."

"He did such a great job" Cristina rubbed Josh's shoulder, "bye Josh."

"Bye Mrs Yang."

Cristina walked out the door leaving Derek's two kids to jump onto his shoulders, "okay who's ready to go for a ride" Derek said as he stood up with Cecilia and Josh balanced on his shoulders.

"Me me" the kids said together.

Derek woke up that night with his face covered with sweat. He switched on the light and tried to slow his breathing down he had dreamt of Addison of the times they had together, of the memories that Derek had of her. Then he had dreamt of Meredith of how special he had felt being with her in the coffee house today just himself and Meredith. Then he had woken up feeling confused, guilt ridden and overwhelmed by a sense of longing to be with both Addison and Meredith he heard the door opening and he looked to see his two children walking in, "daddy" Josh whispered. Derek rubbed the sweat off his forehead and he tried his best to look happy, "hey Josh Cecilia you okay."

"You had a nightmare daddy" Cecilia said climbing onto the bed, "we heard you."

"Yeah I did clever kids."

"So that means you get milk" Josh said.

"I suppose I do just let me put on some clothes" he slipped on a pair of pants and he wandered downstairs with his kids following him, "by the way" he said as he turned around, "are you two supposed to be up?"

"But we're supposed to help you" Cecilia said.

"Like you help me when I have nightmares" Josh added.

"Well that's very nice of you."

"Sit down daddy" Cecilia said as she got a carton of milk from the fridge, "here's your milk."

"Don't pour it on my head this time."

"I won't" Cecilia said smirking Derek drank a glass full of the cold liquid and then he wandered up to his bedroom. He opened the door and turned to look at his two kids standing behind him, "okay you two your bedroom is that way" he pointed towards the room at the other end of the hallway.

"But what if you have more nightmares" Josh said looking worried.

"I think i'll be fine Josh."

"If we're with you, you won't have nightmares" Cecilia said.

"Guys you're not sleeping in my bed" Cecilia ran into the bedroom and jumped onto her dad's bed, "Cecilia get off the bed." Derek walked over to pick his daughter up, Cecilia hid under the covers and Derek feeling a headache flopped on to the bed feeling too exhausted to be a parent, "i'm too soft on you Cecilia" he muttered.

"No you're not" Cecilia said as she poked her face out from under the quilt.

"Come on Josh" Derek said as he looked at her son, "you can sleep here tonight if you like."

"Thanks dad" Josh climbed on the bed and hugged Derek, "will I stop your nightmares if I hug you daddy?"

"Actually I think i'll have nightmares about my two little monkeys who suffocated me during the night."

"Silly daddy" Cecilia said giggling as she hugged Derek along with Josh and Derek kissing his children's cheeks put an arm around each of them as he drifted off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Meredith's POV

Meredith did a little jig as she flew out of bed and skipped through her kitchen a smile breaking though her sleepiness like the dawn outside. It had been a tough week for Meredith and it felt good to finally put all of her troubles behind her and dance, frolic around in her pyjamas and feel free as a bird. The reasons why things had been tough for Meredith was the increased stress she had been under to up her performance, her second week as a neurosurgeon was a lot different to her first people expected more from her and Meredith had strained herself each day to push herself to her limits. She had given it her all and in her own opinion her hard work had paid off, her supervisor had given her impressed looks all week and Meredith had loved the feeling of knowing she had done a great job.

The second reason it had been tough was Derek. Meredith had reflected on the afternoon she had spent with Derek over and over in her head and she knew without a shadow of a doubt that Derek had chosen to leave when he and Meredith were having fun because of something Meredith did and she had felt terrible about it. She had tried hard to find Derek in the hospital so she could talk with him and apologise for whatever she did and try to understand from Derek's perspective how she had made him want to leave in the first place, but she hadn't seen him at all this week not even once. He had never been in the hallways where Meredith walked, he was not in the cafeteria where Meredith had lunch, Meredith had even tried waiting outside the day care unit of the hospital after a shift... but she never saw him. She had tried to get him of her head so she could relax, sleep well and concentrate on her work but no matter how hard she had tried she knew inside that she didn't want to stop thinking about him all she wanted to do was to see him and it made her heart ache.

Now at last it was Saturday and Meredith had finally managed to forget all about work and about Derek for once she just wanted to have a Meredith day and do whatever she wanted to do. She smiled at the beautiful day outside her window and after having yogurt for breakfast she got dressed in her nice clothes and fled down the long staircase of her apartment building to feel the wonderful sun on her face. She smiled at the sky not caring if people stared at her and she looked all around her before wandering down the street wondering what she could do with herself. _You haven't been to the mall in a long time_ _Meredith. _She started to walk to the large mall growing bigger and bigger in the distance as she thought about buying a book, having a milkshake and maybe getting a DVD box set, she felt like she had earned it.

An hour later and Meredith had found a book that looked interesting and her mind was now focused on having what she had been craving for every hot afternoon for the last several weeks a large strawberry milkshake. She walked quickly to the food courts feeling her mouth watering as she thought about the yummy treat and then she stopped in her tracks as a painful sound reached her ears. She could hear somebody crying a quiet crying somewhere near her she looked around wanting to find whoever was crying and make them feel better. Her eyes scanned the crowd and then they found what they were looking for a tiny girl with long dark hair was looking around her like she was searching for someone. Meredith saw shiny rivers on the girl's cheeks and feeling her consciousness telling her to do the right thing she quickly walked towards the child and bended down as far as her knees would allow her to so she could look the girl in the eye, "hey there" she said gently.

The girl sniffed and turned away from Meredith. Meredith gently put a hand on the child's back, "are you lost" Meredith whispered.

Meredith saw the girl shifting back around and looking face down at Meredith's knees.

"It's okay sweetheart i'm going to help you, can you tell me your name."

"Cecilia" the girl whispered.

Meredith smiled that name sounded familiar to her, "Cecilia that's a lovely name my name is Meredith it's very nice to meet you."

The girl finally looked up and Meredith stared at her with wide eyes she had seen that little face before she was Derek's daughter. Cecilia stared at Meredith's face for a moment and then she took one of Meredith's hands in both of her two small hands and started to pepper it with kisses. Meredith tried her best not to look confused as she watched Cecilia continue to smother her hand with her face and then she saw the little girl gazing into her eyes with wonder, "your majesty" Cecilia said.

"Sorry" Meredith whispered feeling befuddled.

"Princess merrobottom."

"Honey I don't know what you mean can you please-"

"Princess merrobottom" Cecilia said looking thrilled, "your princess merrobottom."

Meredith smiled remembering what Derek had said about her daughter thinking Meredith was beautiful. She must have thought Meredith was a Disney princess that Cecilia had seen on the television. She gently covered Cecilia's two hands with her own hands, "Cecilia listen my name is Meredith and i'm not a princess."

"But you look like one so you must be."

"Well that's very sweet of you to say that, but i'm just a normal nurse and I work in a hospital."

"Oh" Cecilia said looking dispirited, Meredith chuckled as she put her hand on the girl's shoulder, "I might not be a princess but I can help you find who you're looking for."

Cecilia's sad look was replaced with one brimming with hope, "you will help me" she whispered.

"I really will" Meredith said winking at her, "are you looking for Derek?"

Cecilia nodded starting to grin, "well he's probably looking for you right now why don't we go to the food court and we'll wait for him to find you."

"Okay Mer...Mer"

"Listen if my name is too difficult to remember you can just call me Meri its short for Meredith."

"Meri" Cecilia said grinning even wider, "I can say your name."

"That's right" Meredith said as she nodded glad that she had firmly broken the ice with Cecilia.

"When Josh was very little he called me Ceci, so you can call me Ceci if you want to and i'll call you Meri."

"That's a good idea well Ceci" Meredith stood up and put her handbag high up on her shoulder, "shall we go find you dad, this is a big mall so how about we hold hands so we don't get lost."

Cecilia grabbed Meredith's hand and started to swing it smiling at Meredith who smiled back at her before she started to head towards her destination. They got to the food court and Meredith helped Cecilia into one of the large steel chairs as she sat down on another chair herself, "so how old are you Ceci."

"Four and a half" Cecilia said showing Meredith four fingers, "i'm getting really big."

"That's right you are at a big age."

"Yeah and soon i'm going to go to kindergarten and I won't have to go to day care anymore."

"You don't like day care."

"It's so boring" Cecilia said dramatically as she flopped back on the chair with her arms thrown back and her hands covering her eyes while Meredith snorted at her behaviour, _she's just the cutest little thing_ she thought. "There's nothing to do" Cecilia said, "every day its always draw draw draw, cut cut cut, glue glue glue and then there's even more draw draw draw."

"Does Josh like day care as much as you?"

"Josh says he does but he only does it so daddy doesn't feel bad."

"I see."

"But I always complain so that daddy can take us to work with him so I can see what he does."

Meredith leaned in close feeling the need to say something, "Cecilia what your dad does might sound exciting but what your dad does is actually quite scary and it shouldn't be something you should see until your older."

"I am old enough Meri i'm really big." Cecilia stood on her chair, "see i'm taller than you."

Meredith giggled, "You're a funny little girl Cecilia."

"Big girl Meri" Cecilia said with a big grin she hopped down from her chair and crawled under the table. Meredith felt her shoe being pulled off her foot, "what are you doing under there Cecilia?"

Cecilia poked her face out from underneath the table, "how come you don't have glass slippers?"

"Because i'm not a princess remember and I would like my shoe back on my foot please Ceci."

"How come your feet are pained?"

"That's nail polish."

"Oh" Ceci said with wonder as she looked at Meredith's fingernails, "your hand is painted too."

"Nail polish honey."

"Wow" Ceci said, she disappeared back under the table and Meredith started to giggle as she felt small fingers tickling the underside of her foot. "Ceci" she said giggling as she wriggled in her chair as Cecilia continued to tickle her and Meredith grinning put her hands under the table and Cecilia laughed as she darted out from the other end of the table holding Meredith's shoe. "I got your shoe, I got your shoe" she said waving the shoe in front of Meredith's eyes.

Meredith stood up and walked towards Cecilia who giggled as she tried to dart under the table and Meredith caught her picking her up in her arms, "I got my shoe and Ceci too" she said in a booming voice. She carried the giggling Cecilia over to her chair and sat down holding Cecilia like a baby, "now i'll take my shoe" she said as she used a hand to remove the shoe from Cecilia's hands "and i'll start to tickle you." She used her free hand to tickle Cecilia's belly and smiled as she watched the girl laugh and squirm in Meredith's arms. Meredith's smile grew as Cecilia laughed it had been ages since she had last played with a small child and she was liking this cheeky little thing more and more by the minute. She stopped the torment of tickling allowing Cecilia to catch her breath, "okay i'm ready for something to drink do you want a milkshake?"

Cecilia nodded, "you're really really nice Meri."

"Well I like being nice" Meredith said as she put the little girl down and placed her shoe back on her foot.

"I like being nice too" Cecilia said as Meredith rummaged around in her handbag for her wallet. "I look after Josh in day care because daddy-" she broke off and Meredith watching Cecilia's face cracking up bent down smiling warmly, "it's alright sweetheart your dad will be here very soon."

"What if he can't find us?" Cecilia croaked.

"Well then we'll ask someone to help us find your dad."

"What if no one else helps us?"

"I'm sure that they will help us Ceci now how about I get you a nice strawberry milkshake i'm sure that will help put a smile on your face." Cecilia rubbed her eyes with her hands and started to smile again.

"Cecilia" a man's voice yelled in the distance. Cecilia turned her head, "daddy" she shouted before she ran to Derek who bent down and hugged her tightly, "thank heavens your alright" Derek whispered.

"I'm okay daddy" Cecilia said as she smiled at Josh who hugged her sister from the side. Meredith watched all three of them, _I could never get tired of seeing this_.

"Cecilia" Derek said in a firm tone, "don't ever run away from me again when I tell you to stay with me I mean it do you understand me?"

Cecilia nodded with apologetic eyes and Derek kissed her cheek, "i'm just relieved you're safe, you gave me a fright."

"I always scare your pants off daddy."

"That's right" Derek said nodding, "and you should stop doing that because i'm getting tired of wetting myself."

Cecilia smiled, "okay i'll stop scaring you, Meri rescued me."

"Meri" Derek said confused, he looked up and saw Meredith standing there smiling at him.

Derek POV

Derek looked at Meredith for a while wondering what to say he felt overwhelmed with relief for his child as he felt his daughter playing with his jacket and he felt racked with nerves as he stared at Meredith not knowing what to say to her. He knew she had more than likely been wondering why he had abruptly took off last week and why they had never had the chance to talk about why Derek had made up some lousy excuse to leave. He finally decided to swallow his nerves and he smiled gratefully at Meredith, "thank you Meredith."

"You're welcome" she said simply.

"Daddy i'm hungry" Josh said.

"Me too" Cecilia said she looked at Meredith, "is Meri having lunch with us."

"Well if she's not busy" Derek said putting the ball in Meredith's court. Meredith smiled, "I was going to get Cecilia a milkshake and I can get Josh one as well."

"Oh no" Derek said smiling at Meredith's generosity, "if anyone is buying milkshakes for these two rugrats its going to be me and I should get you one too to say thanks."

"Well if you insist" Meredith whispered with happiness evident in her voice.

Cecilia tugged on her dad's hand to get her attention and Derek saw her making a nodding gesture towards Meredith. Derek stood up, "sorry I should ask properly would you like have lunch with us as well?"

"I would love to" Meredith said.

Derek nodded at her feeling grateful that after a whole week they were finally talking again.

Derek ate his sandwiches while he watched Cecilia and Josh playing with the new toys that he had brought them earlier that morning. He looked at Meredith watching his kids as well and he cleared his throat, Meredith instantly looked at him and Derek smiled at her in a friendly manner, "so how are you?"

"I've been good" Meredith lied, "it's been a good week."

"Yeah" Derek said lying right back, "it has been good for me too."

"I decided I wanted to spend the day at the mall."

"Well we had the same idea" Derek made a hand gesture towards his kids, "I got to go clothes shopping for these two."

"Poor man" Meredith whispered, "well if you want I can give you a hand."

Derek smirked, "you hate clothes shopping just as much as me, why would you willingly go clothes shopping for a few ankle bitters that you've just met?"

"I guess I must enjoy your company so much that i'm willing to torture myself to spend time with you." Derek smiled relieved that he was not nervous by Meredith's comment, "well that's very nice I guess my charm is up to scratch."

"I think it is" Meredith whispered looking at him, Derek thought of nothing as he gazed at her feeling something he hadn't felt in years since the days he was happily married.

"Daddy" Josh said.

Derek snapped out of his trance and looked at his son, "yes Josh."

"I really like my toy."

"I'm glad mate."

"Did I remember my manners before?." Derek nodded, "you sure did Josh, anyway we got some clothes shopping to do."

"Wait" Cecilia stood up and blocked Derek's way, "daddy can Meri come with us?"

"Derek smirked with Meredith, "well if you ask her very nicely."

Cecilia walked quickly to Meredith and started to pull on the woman's hands, "please Meredith please pretty please." Derek smiled as he watched Cecilia giving Meredith her best puppy dog look and Meredith giving Cecilia her puppy dog look until Meredith smiled, "I would be very happy to come clothes shopping with you."

Cecilia did a little dance and Derek looked at Josh, "is that okay with you Josh?"

Josh looked at Meredith and nodded.

"Okay than" Derek said as he gathered up his children's toys, "let's get going."

Meredith POV

Meredith walked beside Derek with Cecilia holding her hand with a smile that refused to leave her face _why am I not uncomfortable_ she thought. She had never been in a situation where she was walking alongside a man that she was developing strong feelings for who had children that she was growing fonder of by the minute and yet she felt peaceful, like this was meant to be. Right now she didn't care about anything except enjoying herself with Derek and his children.

"Okay" Derek said when they reached the clothes store, "we need some new tea shirts, trousers and socks, what do you think Meredith should we go to the boy's section first or the girl's section."

"Not the boy's section" Cecilia piped up, "it stinks."

Derek gave his daughter a frown, "Cecilia don't be mean Josh probably thinks the girls section stinks."

"I don't" Josh said, "it smells nice."

"What if Meri take me to the girls section" Cecilia said looking up at Meredith, "and daddy takes Josh to the boy's section."

"Oh but" Meredith stammered not wanting to be apart from Derek so soon then she looked at Cecilia and her heart gave in, "okay i'll help you pick something nice."

"Sure" Derek muttered Meredith could hear a disappointed tone in his voice and she smiled at him to silently tell him that they would see each other again soon. "I'll meet you back here in ten minutes" Derek said.

"Just ten minutes" Cecilia whispered.

"Well fifteen minutes than" Derek muttered.

"Thank you come on Meri" Cecilia tugged Meredith by the hand over to the girl's section. Meredith hunched over and moved quickly feeling like a lazy dog that had been forced to go for a walk, "sweetie you're going to pull my arm out of my socket."

"Sorry Meri" Cecilia whispered as she dropped the woman's hand. Meredith picked Cecilia up and Cecilia grinned, "it's okay now we'll find some clothes for you to wear."

Derek POV

Derek watched Meredith carry Cecilia away until they disappeared behind the clothes racks and he turned to look at Josh, "do you like her mate."

"Who" Josh said.

"Meredith."

"Who's Meredith?"

"The woman we were with" Derek bent down to Josh's height and pointed with his hand towards the girl's section of the store, "she's with Cecilia right now."

"I thought her name was Meri" Josh said with his fingers in his mouth.

"That's her nickname buddy what do you think of her."

"She is good" Josh said simply. Derek nodded, "yeah I think so too."

"Do you like her daddy?"

"Yeah I do Josh" he whispered "I like her a lot." He saw Meredith in the distance looking at the tea shirt Cecilia had picked out and his eyes filled with tears. He felt a small body hugging his chest, "daddy are you crying?" Josh said looking worried. Derek shook his head, "no Josh i'm fine I just have happy tears that's all."

Meredith POV

"Okay honey" Meredith said as she looked at the pile of clothes balanced on her forearm, "we've picked out five tea shirts and three pairs of trousers and shorts that you like, now what about some socks?"

"Okay" Cecilia said, Meredith feeling her arms ache tried to put the child down and Cecilia held on tight to Meredith's neck, "I can't carry you around all afternoon you know."

"I like being carried around by you Meri."

"Why is that?" Meredith muttered as she tried to put a pair of jeans around her neck.

"Because I never had a... um never mind Meri."

Meredith looked at Cecilia and she saw the pain on the child's face. She gently rubbed Cecilia's back with one hand, "sweetheart do you want me to help you pick out some socks."

"Yes please" Cecilia said quietly. "Hey look" Meredith said, Cecilia looked at Meredith pulling a funny face and she giggled.

Meredith helped put a sock on Cecilia's foot and the girl smiled, "so do you like my daddy?"

Meredith looked up and nodded, "of course I do honey he's a very nice man."

"Do you really like him?"

"I suppose" Meredith whispered having a feeling that she knew what Cecilia was trying to say.

"He really likes you too."

Meredith smiled as she tried not to think about what this could mean, "i'm glad."

"But he is very shy" Cecilia said like she was a teacher giving information to a student, "so he doesn't say things like that."

"I see" Meredith said feeling her spirits rising at the girl's words she tied Cecilia's shoelaces, "how does that feel."

"Um" Cecilia scrunched her nose up, "can we put on more socks?"

Meredith sighed, "we've already tried ten pairs of socks I think you just need to do a bit of walking."

"Walking what will that do Meri?"

"Well let's see" Meredith said as she gently took Cecilia's ankles in her hands and started to move her legs up and down while the little girl laughed loudly, "there your socks fit."

"Okay" Cecilia said nodding, Meredith stood up and Cecilia jumped off her cushion and hugged the woman's waist.

"Thank you Meri" the girl whispered with her face buried in Meredith's coat.

"You're welcome sweetheart" Meredith whispered with tears of joy sparkling in her eyes.

"For rescuing me and helping me find socks" Cecilia whispered.

Meredith patted Cecilia's shoulder, "why don't we see how your daddy's doing?"

Cecilia nodded, "Meri are you having dinner with us too?"

"I don't think I can I have a lot of study to do for work."

Cecilia sighed and looked up at Meredith with pleading eyes, "but study is boring having dinner is fun."

"I would like to" Meredith said as she bended down and placed her hand on the girl's shoulder, "but it's just something grownups have to do."

"Grownups are always doing boring things." Meredith let out a laugh, "that's not true Cecilia grownups do lots of exciting things and i'm sure your daddy does exciting things too."

"Like what" Cecilia muttered looking unconvinced, "sleeping farting eating."

"He saves lives Cecilia." Cecilia put a finger to her mouth as she thought to herself and then she nodded quickly with excitement, "oh yeah."

"So your dad is a hero that's pretty exciting if you ask me."

"He is a hero" Cecilia said with awe.

"Who's a hero" Derek said as he arrived on the scene holding Josh's hand and a bundle of clothes.

"You are daddy" Cecilia said.

"Really" Derek shrugged humbly, "I didn't know that."

"You should wear a cape dad" Josh said looking at his dad like he was superman.

"Yeah" Derek said "perhaps I should but probably not in public." Meredith chuckled and she shifted her body to look at Josh, "you look very handsome Josh in your new jacket."

"What does handsome mean?" Josh whispered.

"It means the ladies will love you" Meredith replied.

Josh looked very confused and Derek coughed, "Meredith I would prefer Josh to be at least ten years old before the ladies start chasing after him."

"Ladies will chase me" Derek saw his son looking deeply worried and he gave him a thumbs up.

"Don't worry mate" Derek said.

"But I don't want them to eat me" Josh whispered.

"No they just want to be your friend that's all which is why they will chase after you, and it won't be grown up ladies it will be girls your size."

"Oh... okay" Josh said still not quite understanding what his dad was saying. Meredith ruffled Josh's hair gently, "it means you will have many friends when you're older." Josh gave a small smile and Meredith satisfied that she had gotten Derek's other child to like her stood up to her full height, "well what now" she said to Derek.

"I well" Derek stammered.

"We could" Meredith said as she tried to think of something.

"Maybe" Derek whispered.

"Get McDonalds" Cecilia said loudly. Derek shook his head, "no you've had enough junk food today young lady."

"And I have to go do study anyway" Meredith said as she felt the painful thoughts of piles of paperwork waiting for her at her apartment returning, "so I guess I will see you at work."

"Yeah... looking forward to it" Derek said gently. Meredith stared at him until she started to feel awkward and she turned her head to look down at Derek's children, "bye Cecilia bye Josh."

"Bye Meri" Josh whispered.

"Wait" Cecilia said as she ran in front of Meredith and held her arms out widely, "Daddy you forgot to thank Meri."

"That's right" Derek said, "thank you Meredith for supervising my little kitten when she wandered off and for keeping her out of trouble."

"It was my pleasure" Meredith said smirking as Cecilia shook her head, "no daddy you're supposed to thank her properly."

Derek raised an eyebrow, "Cecilia i'm not sure what" Cecilia pulled him down and whispered in his ear. Meredith saw Derek's eyes widen for a moment and then he stood up "that's a great idea Cecilia." He smiled at Meredith, "to say thank you for everything you've done for Cecilia today I was wondering if when we go to work on Monday I could watch you perform surgery and possibly give you some pointers you know because you're new to the job."

Meredith nodded feeling grateful for more reasons than one, "yeah well supervision will be very helpful for me thanks."

Cecilia let out a loud moan and she walked over to Meredith and took the woman's hand in her own, "daddy wants to take you out to dinner tomorrow night."

Derek immediately turned bright red and Meredith chuckled seeing the look on his face, "oh does he now."

"Yeah well" Derek stuttered, "listen I well you see."

"I would love to Derek" Meredith said, "tomorrow night will be lovely." Meredith's felt her heart swell with happiness at the thought of having dinner with Derek and her eyes twinkled with mirth seeing a mixture of embarrassment and joy on the man's handsome features. She took a pen from her pocket and quickly scribbled down her mobile number on a page in the diary she carried everywhere and tore it out. "I'll expect your call" she whispered as she handed Derek the paper and waved at Josh and Cecilia who smiled and waved back before walking away feeling like she was on top of the world.

Derek POV

Derek stood still in disbelief he felt like he was a small boy who had woken up on Christmas morning to find an unexpected puppy waiting for him under the tree, his hand was being tugged and he looked at Josh, "Dad you're like a statue."

"Yeah well" Derek looked at Cecilia who was grinning wickedly to herself, "I guess we should go home." Cecilia trotted to keep up and she grasped Derek's hand, "daddy are you proud of me?"

Derek snorted, "Cecilia let's just say i'm trying to think of a suitable way to punish you for all the naughty things you have done today."

"If you're mad at me" Cecilia said, "why are you smiling"

"Well that's because i'm thinking of putting all of your Disney movies in the attic until next month."

"Dad" Derek looked at Josh's face frozen in fear, "well just the ones that your sister loves like the little mermaid."

"Josh loves the little mermaid too" Cecilia pointed out, Josh nodded quickly at his sister's remark Derek snorted again sometimes his daughter knew Josh better than Derek did.

"Okay well then i'll think of something else" Derek said he couldn't for the life of him be mad at Cecilia for roping him into having dinner with Meredith he felt too nervous thinking about it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys **

**First of all thank you for your reviews they have been very lovely to read and I understand that my chapters have been a bit confusing due to several reasons so I will clear things up before going any further.**

**First of all I want to clarify that Meredith is a neurosurgeon in training the reason I have sometimes said in previous chapters that she was a nurse was because I thought realistically it would be difficult from the perspectives of Derek and Meredith to explain to Cecilia and Josh what a neurosurgeon is. I thought it would be more realistic if Derek and Meredith said to the children that Meredith was a nurse because I think that most children their ages have a better idea of what a nurse is than what a neurosurgeon is, i'm sorry that was confusing I should have said something earlier to explain why I have sometimes said Meredith was a nurse.**

**Second of all I have used Derek POV (point of view) and Meredith POV (point of view) to explain their feelings. I see now that was not a good idea as it seems to just muddle readers so I will stop doing that so the story is easier to follow.**

**Thanks again for your wonderful feedback **

The day had flown by and in no time at all it was six o clock and Derek was nervously looking over himself in the bedroom mirror. He took a deep breath it had been years since he had done something like this and he was worried he wouldn't be able to relax, be himself and have a good time with Meredith.

"Daddy" Derek closed his eyes in annoyance as his daughter came skipping into the room wearing a wide grin. "Cecilia" Derek tiredly muttered as a greeting to his little monkey child that had been bugging him all day long.

"Daddy" Cecilia pointed excitedly to the alarm clock sitting on the desk by her daddy's bed, "it's almost time for your date."

"I know Cecilia you've been reminding me of tonight ever since I woke up this morning, and i'm going to tell you again we are not going on a date."

"Daddy" Cecilia said softly as she hugged Derek's legs while looking up at him, "do you even know what a date is?"

"Yes I do Cecilia."

"No you don't" Cecilia said as she smiled, "when two grownups really really like each other they spend lots of time together in a really really nice place, and then they start kissing, and they fall in love, and then they get married and then they-"

"Cecilia" Derek sighed feeling his energy levels dropping faster than a sinking car then the doorbell rang. "Thank heaven" he muttered as Cecilia let go of his leg and he quickly ran downstairs to answer the door with his daughter following him.

"Daddy why aren't you wearing special clothes?"

"What's wrong with my clothes Cecilia?"

"You're supposed to look like a secret agent."

"Right well my 007 suit is dirty" Derek reached his hand for the doorknob "so my jeans, button up shirt and boring jacket will have to do."

"Daddy" Cecilia pulled his other hand to stop Derek from escaping, "where will you be going with Meri?"

"I haven't decided yet" Derek said bluntly as he tried to remove Cecilia's tight grip on his hand, "i'll ask Meri when I pick her up."

"Is it somewhere romantic?"

"Yeah sure" Derek started to smirk, "I think Pizza hut is always nice."

Cecilia looked at him with bulging fearful eyes, "not pizza hut" she cried out.

"I thought you loved pizza hut."

"I do daddy but it's not good enough, it needs to be somewhere really really special."

"Well I don't know Cecilia throw me a bone if you were me where would you take Meredith."

"To Disneyland."

"I think that's closed, can I please let Cristina into the house." Cecilia nodded as she let go of his hand. "Thank you" Derek muttered wearily as he opened the door and saw his friend staring at him, Derek cleared his throat, "it is a cold night Cristina do you want to come inside?"

Cristina nodded as she continued to look him over as she walked into the house, "so remind me again why I am babysitting tonight?"

"I'm just going to, you know chill with Meredith for a bit."

Cecilia started to smile again, "daddy and Meri are going on a date."

"Cecilia" Derek said moaning, "for the last time it is not a date it's just a catch up."

The sound of a rustling crisp packet alerted Derek to his son's presence and he turned to see Josh walking into the kitchen, "dad what's a date?" Josh said.

"Well Josh a date is when two grownups spend time with each other?"

"A date is when daddy and Meri go out" Cecilia added.

"What happens on a date?" Josh asked looking curious.

"Well Josh we just have fun" Derek said casually, "and that's all it is."

Cecilia laughed and walked over to Josh, "when grownups go on a date they fall in love, they get married, they live happily ever after, we get a baby brother or sister and-" Derek put his jacket on Cecilia's head and his daughter giggled as Derek held her with one arm and grinned at Josh, "and as you can see Josh your sister has a wild imagination. Me and Meri are just going to hang out that's all and you and your big sister and babysitter are going to watch fun movies."

"So will you be home late?" Cristina asked.

"I don't know" Derek said as he removed his jacket from a red faced smiling Cecilia, "probably not."

"Well don't rush" Cristina said patting Derek's cheek gently with her hand, "you have fun and enjoy yourself?"

"Why are you giving me that look?"

"I just have a good feeling that you're going to have a wonderful time tonight"

Derek shook his head feeling his nerves returning and trying to ignore his daughter and best friend laughing he walked out the door into the rain.

He drove to the address that Meredith had given him over the phone and he parked on the opposite side of the road looking up at the apartment complex where Meredith lived. He sat up in his seat, "breath Derek breath... this is fine this is normal this is just another social thing, it's like what happened at the coffee house." Then he remembered what happened last week at the coffee house when he left half way through their afternoon together and he gritted his teeth, "Derek you are not going to freak out, you are not going to walk away, you are going to be nice, you are going to be calm and you're going to be fun."

He jumped in his seat when a knock on the window reached his ears and he looked at Meredith smiling and waving at him. Derek in alarm opened the passenger door and Meredith quickly jumped in and sat down, "hey" she said gasping for air.

"Hey um" Derek stammered, "are you alright?"

"Fine" Meredith said grinning as she caught her breath, Derek stared at her she looked amazing she wore a long red dress with shiny heels and all kinds of makeup decorating her beautiful features, Derek looked her up and down and felt frozen with anxiety.

Meredith let out a giggle seeing him stare, _I knew wearing my best clothes would work_ she thought to herself, "Derek you know we're parked in an illegal zone."

"Right of course" Derek said smiling nervously as he pulled out and stared at the road ahead. "So where are we going tonight?" Meredith said as she checked to see if her comb was in her handbag.

"Well I was thinking actually um-"

"We could go to the Ray's boathouse seafood place on the waterfront."

"Yeah that sounds great" Derek replied pleased that they now had a plan for the evening, "you like seafood?"

"It's my favourite" Meredith said with a twinkle in her eye.

"Yeah its mine too" Derek said as he slowly started to relax, "I haven't been there is a long time."

"Really I go there when I can."

"I should go there myself soon."

Meredith gave him a funny look, "we are going there Derek, really soon."

"Yeah" Derek said trying to get the blood flowing to his brain, "I mean-"

"Derek" Derek felt something warm on his hand and he looked at Meredith's hand covering his own, "it's okay" she whispered.

Derek nodded _relax Derek_ he thought and his heart skipped a beat as the car engine stalled, "oh no" he cried out.

"What's wrong?"Meredith said as Derek opened his car door and started to push. "The engine has stalled, shit i've got to get it on the side of the road."

Meredith looked in the rear view mirror and saw a line of cars behind them beeping she hoisted her handbag on to her shoulder and opened the door. "What" Derek said in a wheezy voice.

"I'm giving you a hand."

"No" Derek said cringing that he had gotten Meredith into this mess, "I got this."

"Derek it's a big heavy van now come on."

Meredith and Derek pushed and strained and then Derek saw something that made him want to bang his head on the car roof the hand brake was on. "Hang on" Derek said as he pulled the hand brake down and Meredith and Derek pushed the car into a parking spot. He panted and looked at Meredith her face was dripping wet with a combination of the rain and her own sweat, "I am so sorry I didn't even realise the hand brake was still on."

"Its fine" Meredith said as she held her sides and stood up, "let's get to the restaurant."

"Okay" Derek turned the car key in the ignition and groaned as the engine made an uncanny noise, "oh no."

"What's wrong?"

"The car isn't starting" Derek said as he closed the car door, jammed the key into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, "i've got insurance."

"Wait Derek" Meredith said as she quickly walked to the front of the car, "let's see if we can figure out what's wrong with it."

"Meredith your freezing."

"No i'm fine I feel alive open up the bonnet." Derek complied and gasped as a strong wave of smoke hit his face. Meredith let out a loud cough and waved an arm in front of her face, "that engine doesn't look great" she spluttered.

"Oh man" Derek put his face in his hands and screamed into his palms, "I can't believe it."

Meredith sniggered and put a hand on his shoulder, "settle petal we'll just call a taxi."

"Yeah sure i'll call one, do you want to wait in the car?"

"Not really i'm finding this rain to be very pleasant."

"Well then after I call?"

Meredith rubbed her wet shoulders, "that would be great."

"Okay lets... Jesus" Derek yelled.

"What?"

"I pulled my car key out with my phone."

"So what's the problem?"

"It's on the pavement" Derek's eyes scanned for any sign of his key he tried to open the car door, "damn it I must have locked it out of habit, I can't see the key."

"I can't see anything either" Meredith said as she started to laugh she couldn't help herself when things got this way and she ended up in a fix she would laugh.

"Oh god" Derek sighed as he sank to the pavement. Meredith shook her head at how big of a drama queen Derek was being and she bent down to catch his eye, "Derek if you say something like oh god, or swear one more time i'm going to push you into a puddle. Don't worry about how i'm feeling I am having the time of my life."

"Are you serious?" Derek muttered in disbelief.

"I enjoy these types of scenarios I mean what could be better than standing in the middle of nightmare in Seattle, and i'm in a crisis with a man who is behaving like the world is coming to an end, it's rather fun if you ask me."

Derek started to snigger with Meredith and putting a smile back on his face he picked up his phone "at least we can get a taxi."

"Derek I think by the time a taxi gets here we'll be too wet for a fancy restaurant."

"Yeah" Derek muttered with a knowing feeling that his night out with Meredith was going to end even before it began. Meredith picked up her handbag off the road and pointed in the direction where they had driven from, "why don't we go to my place and we'll have dinner there."

"Your place?" Derek whispered feeling like a bundle of nerves.

"It's not that filthy I promise."

"No no" Derek rubbed his nose with his finger and stood to attention, "it sounds great."

"It's not far we should get going before we catch cold."

"Right" Derek said as he took off his jacket and held it to Meredith, "here."

"Thank you" Meredith said as she draped the jacket around her bare shoulders. Then she draped an arm around Derek's torso, "now we'll both be warm."

"Let's go" Derek said as he and Meredith started to stroll, Meredith kept her head down looking at her feet to try to keep Derek's jacket balanced on her head and shield her from the rain, after several minutes she looked up at Derek, "Derek do you want to run."

"Well that depends" Derek said smirking, "can you keep up with me"

"I'm pretty fast" Meredith said with a smile.

"Let's find out" Derek said as he started to jog with Meredith running by his side as the rain drenched them until at last they arrived at Meredith's apartment. Meredith opened the door and ran through her hallway while Derek walked inside and looked at his surroundings. Meredith's home was small and messy as Derek expected for a neurosurgeon who had just started work in the profession but it also felt cosy warm and friendly. Meredith had artistic pictures around her unit, photographs of Meredith and her friends, and a large sofa that looked old and comfortable. Derek felt eager to sit on it and talk with Meredith for hours about anything they could think of.

Meredith returned carrying several towels, "I can't do much more than this" Meredith said, "but here." Derek took the towel from her hand and rubbed his wet hair with it while Meredith did the same then Meredith laughed, "what is it" Derek said with a grin.

"Your hair" Meredith blurted out with a chuckle, "it's sticking up like a roster's crest."

"Oh" Derek looked at the mirror, "hey Derek looking good mate."

Meredith chuckled harder and then she remembered that her clothes were soaking, "i've got to change out of my wet dress will you be right waiting here."

"Sure" Derek said as he rubbed his hands through his hair to spike it up, "i'll just stand here and admire my drowned self."

Meredith grinned, "I can get you a dress to wear if you want to change."

Derek smirked, "I think it's okay if only one of us looks beautiful tonight." Meredith went red at the compliment and Derek felt a sense of joy knowing that he had regained his confidence. He watched Meredith dart into her bedroom and he looked at Meredith's messy kitchen thinking to himself.

Meredith closed her bedroom door quickly taking off her damp dress and took a long look at her face in the mirror, "Christ" she whispered, "I spent hours getting ready and now I look like the swamp thing i'm amazed Derek actually agreed to come back here with me." She rubbed her hair with her hands and reached for the brush she spent a good five minutes brushing her hair growing more distraught with every knot she came across then she took another look at her reflection and cringed. The rain, sweat from running around and the smoke from Derek's car had spoiled her makeup. "Derek why did you not ditch me" she whispered the answer hit her almost instantly, Derek was exactly the kind of man who Meredith had always dreamed of, a man with a good heart and someone who cared more about Meredith for who she was than how she looked.

She looked at the clothes in her wardrobe trying to spot something which could cop her favourite soaked dress, "leave it" she whispered to herself "you can pick something out later." She always put her makeup on first in case any of it spilled and stained her clothes she hopped out of her bedroom and dashed to the bathroom to get her makeup tray out. She opened her bathroom door and Derek looked up from washing his hands for a moment they stared at each other, Derek looked stunned and Meredith standing in nothing but her bra and panties felt like she had walked into a lamppost in a busy street. She finally coughed and closing the door she ran back to her bedroom, "oh god" she whispered as she leaned on her bedroom wall. The vision that she had that morning of having a romantic night out with Derek was turning into a nightmare.

Some time later Meredith had finally picked out clothes she felt she could wear in Derek's presence and had summoned all the courage that she could muster to come out of her bedroom and walk into the dining room. She looked around in amazement as she smelled something delicious and then she saw Derek carrying two plates of curry and rice over to the table, "I hope you don't mind" Derek said "I just thought you might be hungry."

Meredith felt like the luckiest woman in the world for an instant then remembering what had happened before she looked at the table to avoid looking at Derek, "i'm sorry I should have knocked before."

"Don't worry about it" Derek said smiling gently, "I know this isn't as good as the restaurant we were going to but i'm hoping it will be good enough."

"It is" Meredith said thinking quickly of things she could do to make the night just what she had hoped for, "it just needs a few things to make it perfect that's all." She dashed to the kitchen and reached into her cupboards for candles and matches, she placed them in the middle of the dining table. "That's better" she said as she lit the candles, "and some music" she added. She walked to her portable cd player, and inserted her favourite Michael Buble disc into the machine, "there" she said as the first track started to play.

Derek took a deep breath, "it's very nice" he said with a slight stammer.

"It is" Meredith whispered smiling as she started to feel better about the night.

A few minutes later Derek was eating the curry he made wondering if Meredith was enjoying it, Meredith wiped her mouth with her napkin and gave him a thumbs up, "this is delicious" she said.

"I'm glad you like it more than my kids do."

Meredith stared at Derek, "they don't like it" she said with wonder.

"It has vegetables, so they try their best to avoid it."

Meredith chuckled, "well this is amazing."

"Thank you I never asked you about what you did before you become a neurosurgeon."

"Well after I left school I spent a few years travelling and then I went to university in Seattle and I wanted to become a teacher, but then I learned about nursing, medicine and eventually neurosurgery from my friends and it just intrigued me. I finished my degree in teaching and after doing that for a year I realised it wasn't for me and I pursued another degree to get into Seattle Grace hospital."

"Right" Derek said slowly as he took it all in. Meredith smiled at him, "were you wondering why I got a late start on being a neurosurgeon."

"No no not at all" Derek lied, "I... I was just thinking that...okay i'm sorry I was wondering why."

"It's alright I only spent a decade partying and burning houses." Meredith chuckled as Derek grinned, "I see that does sound like a lot of fun."

"Well it might have been your fantasy when you were a kid but mine was always having adventure, that's why I explored the world instead of constantly vomiting in public toilets."

"Right."

"So how old are you?" Meredith asked.

"About 32" Derek answered.

"I'm 31" Meredith said as she swallowed the last big of curry on her plate, "turning 32 in November."

"Right" Derek said again.

Meredith looked up as the song _the way you look tonight_ started to play, "I love that song" she said as she stood up and turned up the volume.

"Yeah its nice" Derek said as he watched Meredith approach him slowly smiling, "well" she said as she reached her hand out to him.

"Sorry what" Derek stammered wondering what she was after.

"Are you going to ask me to dance?"

Derek sniggered, "I would except i'm a terrible dancer."

"Well I happen to love dancing" Meredith said as she took Derek's hand and watched as he slowly rose to his feet, and I want you to ask me to dance, I don't care if you have two left feet."

"Well i'm convinced" Derek leaned in closer and whispered, "excuse me miss may I have the pleasure of this dance."

"You may" Meredith whispered back as she placed her hands on Derek's torso and looked up at him. They swayed together gently to the music Derek's arm around Meredith's waist the other hand held tightly in Meredith's hand, "you are a great dancer" Meredith said softly.

"Yeah I haven't done this in a while though."

_Since your wife was with you_ Meredith thought she smiled and leaned in closer so her head was resting against Derek's shoulder, _this is just how I imagined it would be._

Derek closed his own eyes thinking about nothing just focusing on the moment when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket, he sighed as he reluctantly released his hand from Meredith's hand to take his phone out, "Cristina" he muttered.

"Is she babysitting tonight?"

"Yeah she says she is really sorry but Owen is calling her and yeah she wants me to come home."

"I see" Meredith whispered sadly, "well thank you for tonight."

"Yeah it was my pleasure" Derek's soft blue eyes looked into Meredith's crystal blue ones and Meredith reached up on tip toe to hug him. Derek smiled widely as he felt Meredith's body in his arms and then he slowly walked to the door he turned and smiled at Meredith who smiled back as he slowly left.

Meredith stood in the middle of her living room with her favourite music playing in the background looking at the open doorway as she started to miss Derek. She looked at the palms of her hands and closed her eyes "so this is what it feels like" she whispered, "it's even more wonderful than I imagined."


	6. Chapter 6

Cristina was sitting in a large white room with her fellow medical staff of Seattle Grace Hospital looking over her notes when a door opened and looking up from her papers she saw a smiling Meredith strolling into the room waving at everyone, Cristina raised an eyebrow as Meredith flashed her a wide grin, "what are you so happy about?"

Meredith sat down on a chair and started to flick through the notes that she had brought, "oh i'm just feeling really good, I have a wonderful career, great friends I live in a lovely neighbourhood why wouldn't I be feeling happy."

"You've been like this for the last three days, i'm thrilled that you're in such good spirits but now you're starting to worry me."

"Well the last three days" Meredith said, "yeah they have just been a lot of fun, you know really enjoyable."

"Right so how come every time I bump into Derek he is whistling cheerfully to himself like he has conquered the world."

Meredith grinned it hadn't been as much as she would have liked but over the last several days every time that she had a break even if it was only ten minutes she would go and see Derek in his office where the two of them would talk laugh and enjoy themselves. She gave Cristina a hearty wink causing her friend to narrow her eyes suspiciously in response, "well I guess he is feeling as cheerful as I am."

"Well that's good to hear" Cristina said in a tone of voice that clearly said to Meredith _i'm not buying it_, "and by the way where are you every time we take a quick breather from our work."

Meredith shrugged her shoulders casually, "i'm just busy studying my notes during our lunch break, and when we have a quick break I find going for a walk helps me to clear my head, if you want to have lunch today i'll put off my studies for a bit."

"Um actually that's alright, I wouldn't want to deprive you of what's really important which is clearly leaning how to become a great neurosurgeon."

Meredith just sniggered and went on reading over her case notes.

Several hours later

Meredith had just come out of an operation and was looking over the patient's file when the alarm on her phone sounded she glanced at it and groaned it was her lunch break and she had wasted ten minutes of it that she could have spent with Derek. She quickly put the file back on the shelf and started to speed down the hallway looking for what she was after until at last she saw Derek's office, she knocked on the door took two deep breaths to compose herself and the door opened. Meredith saw the handsome face that she loved seeing every day and she smiled widely, "I was wondering where you were" Derek said as Meredith wandered inside.

"Well I had to do the most boring thing expected of a neurosurgeon of my experience."

Derek gave her a smirk that reminded Meredith of Cecilia, "I thought teachers loved to study documents."

Meredith let out a huff, "this former teacher doesn't enjoy it, just looking at notes for too long gives me a headache."

"I'll have to keep that in mind for when Cecilia goes to school next month, it might make me reconsider how important her education really is." Derek sat on a desk staring into space and Meredith nodded trying to imagine how Derek must be feeling that his little girl was growing up, "it's that time of year already huh."

"Yeah" Derek muttered sadly, "I don't know how i'm going to go with her first day of school."

"What do you mean?"

"Well you know how a parent is supposed to take their kid to school and at the school gate give them the don't be scared, everything will be great, you'll make many friends speech I don't know if i'll be any good at that."

"Well don't worry" Meredith said smiling gently, "as a former teacher I can tell you we make kids feel very welcome."

"That's good to hear" Derek said appreciating Meredith's words.

"Then we start teaching them and we do our best to frighten them so they will listen to us and we make them lunch which is always something that is swimming in ketchup." Derek rolled his eyes as Meredith sniggered, "it's nice to know Cecilia is going to have the time of her life, if she starts telling me how scary the teachers are i'll just reassure her by saying those who don't do teach."

Meredith snorted as she crossed her arms while sitting in a chair, "excuse me that saying is the most rubbish saying in the history of rubbish sayings, teachers can do a lot more than you think."

"Besides scaring children what else can they do."

"Look at me" Meredith said pointing both of her thumbs towards her own face, "I do neurosurgery."

"Yeah I suppose."

"If you want to learn how I managed to keep the kids I taught well-behaved, I could show you my teaching techniques next time we see Josh and Cecilia."

Derek gave a light chuckle as he imagined Meredith growling it was something he just couldn't believe to be true Meredith was just too friendly all the time, "I think me giving them zucchini is scary enough." Derek's phone gave a buzz he sighed it always seemed to go off when he and Meredith were enjoying themselves he looked at his most recent text message and let out a loud moan, "damn it."

"What is it" Meredith said calmly knowing from experience that when Derek acted like this it usually was something that could easily be fixed.

"Cristina she can't watch my kids, i've got to work late tonight to make up for leaving Monday afternoon to fix my useless car, what am I going to do now."

Meredith sniggered, watching Derek behave like this was often funnier than watching her favourite comedians on the television, "Derek it's alright."

"No it isn't I don't know-"

"Derek I can watch Cecilia and Josh tonight." Derek looked at her with an uneasy expression on his face. Meredith had been great with his daughter when they had met but this was something else, he wouldn't be there this time and he knew his daughter could drive the staff at the hospital day care centre bonkers with her antics from hearing all the stories the staff told him. Josh on the other hand was always a bundle of shyness and nerves when he met someone new, having someone he wasn't familiar with babysit him would more than likely make him very upset. It had taken him weeks to get used to Cristina watching him without Derek and Cristina was someone Josh had seen regularly since the day of his birth. He shook his head at Meredith's suggestion, "Meredith it's not a good idea, for a start you don't know where I live."

"I'll take them back to my place for a while and when you're finished you can come and pick them up."

"But it will be late and-"

"Derek it will be fine, you focus on your work and don't worry about a thing."

"There's a lot of things i'm worrying about Meredith, the real issue is my kids. You don't know Cecilia like I do, most of the time when I pick the kids up from day care I have to listen to a story of how Cecilia has been sticking crayons up her nose, or putting jam in people's coffee or blocking up the toilet with paper cups."

"That doesn't sound too bad i've seen kids do a lot worse than that."

"Well be that as it may Josh is another story."

"I'll be very nice to Josh" Meredith said trying to reassure him, "and i'll treat him well. Derek what other choice do you have and despite what these day care people might think they seem like lovely kids to me." Derek tried to think of something else to say but he lost his train of thought when Meredith's hand gently covered his own and he looked at her caring beautiful face, he nodded "okay thank you."

Several hours later Meredith was walking towards the day care centre hearing the familiar sound of little kids going wild and adults trying to keep them under control she smiled as it made her think of her teaching days. She got the entrance and gave a woman in a staff uniform a smile as she walked over to her taking care not to step on any toys or toddlers rolling around on the floor, "i'm here to pick up Cecilia and Josh Shepherd."

"You must be Meredith, Derek told us you would be coming if you could just show me your identification please and then your free to take them." Meredith searched through her wallet for her id as the noise level around her increased, "have the kids been good today."

"Cecilia made medicine for one of our sick staff and she poured it in her coffee mug, it made her vomit."

"I see i'll have to teach her about medicine."

"Yeah well teach that dad of hers not to be so soft on her." Meredith sniggered at the woman's comment, it was true in her opinion Derek was too soft but it was also one of those qualities that Meredith loved about him.

"Meri" Cecilia cried out as she ran out of a corner and jumped straight into Meredith's arms, "I missed you."

"I missed you two sweetie" Meredith whispered feeling very thankful that she had managed to catch Cecilia. "I missed you too Josh" she said as the little boy came walking slowly towards her, "hi Meri" he said shyly.

"Where's daddy" Cecilia said looking around her.

"Your daddy has to work late tonight."

"Oh" Cecilia said with a disheartened look on her small face.

"So we'll stay in day care" Josh whispered looking very upset.

"Actually Josh" Meredith said with bated breath, "you're going to come back to my place for a little while and then your daddy will pick you up from there."

"We are" Cecilia said with eyes as wide as a saucer.

"You are" Meredith said smiling.

Cecilia ran around Meredith's legs in circles screaming while Josh just looked at Meredith with unease, "Cecilia calm down it's not like we're going to Disneyland."

Cecilia stopped running and grinned, Meredith smiled as warmly as she could at Josh, "Josh it will be alright, i'm not as good a cook as your dad is but I can make you something yummy and we'll have some fun."

"It's okay Josh" Cecilia said as she continued to grin, "we can trust Meri she is good."

Josh nodded and gave a small smile, Meredith gathered up the drawings that the kids had made throughout the day and then she stood up and started to walk outside with the kids following her lead. "Okay now let's see if we can find a taxi." Cecilia nodded and took Meredith's hand Meredith reached her other hand out to Josh who slowly took it.

A half hour later Meredith unlocked the door to her apartment and Cecilia and Josh wandered in, Meredith put her bags down and looked at the kids turning their heads on a swivel, "well kids what do you think?"

Cecilia looked at her with a stony gaze, "I thought it would be cleaner."

Meredith smirked, "well I heard from Cristina that you guys love cleaning so-"

"It's clean its clean" Cecilia said quickly, "sparkling clean."

"That's good to know, do you like it Josh?"

Josh gave a nod as he continued to look around. Meredith bent down beside him, "do you want to take a little nap before your daddy comes."

"No thank you Meri."

"Okay is there anything you guys want to do, some drawing maybe or do you want to watch television?"

"Can we play a game with you Meri?" Cecilia asked.

"What kind of game honey?"

"Hide and seek" Cecilia said slowly, "you're it."

"Well that sounds good to me, do you want to play Josh." Josh nodded silently and Meredith covered her eyes with her hands, "okay i'll count to sixty."

"Count to one thousand" Cecilia said.

"By the time I do that your dad will be here."

"Okay nine hundred."

"I'll count to one hundred."

"Okay come on Josh."

Meredith counted to a hundred and started to walk through her bedroom she heard the sound of giggling and she looked under her bed at Cecilia and Josh, "I found you two."

"You have to catch us first" Cecilia said with a grin.

"Okay here I come," Meredith started to crawl under the bed and the children quickly crawled out laughing and ran out of the room. Meredith followed smirking as she walked back into her living room and saw two small feet poking out from a curtain, "hmmm I wonder why my curtain has feet" she said as she heard giggling. Meredith pulled back the curtain and Cecilia started to run with Meredith following before she quickly reached forward and picked up her, "I got you" she said grinning as Cecilia laughed widely in her arms, "I wonder where your brother has gone."

"He hides in the best places."

"Really" Meredith said as she put the girl down and started to walk with running around her until she heard a sneeze and she opened a cupboard. Josh looked at her with wide eyes.

"Run Josh run" Cecilia said, "before she catches you." Josh smiled as he jumped out and sprinted as fast as his little legs could carry him. Meredith followed and Cecilia tugged her hand, "run Josh I got her."

"Really" Meredith said as she tickled the girl Cecilia giggled and let go of Meredith's hand, and Meredith ran after Josh until she could see him looking around. She quickly sneaked up behind Josh opening her arms up until Josh turned around and giggled as Meredith caught him, "I got you."

"Leave my little brother alone" Cecilia said as she tugged on Meredith's arm and pulled her off-balance. She quickly climbed on top of Meredith and started to tickle her, Josh quickly joined in as the two of them tickled Meredith's abdomen and Meredith giggled wildly as the kid's tiny fingers continued to torture her, "okay, okay I give up, I give up." Cecilia and Josh smiled at each other, "just kidding" Meredith said as one of her hands started to tickle Josh and the other hand tickled Cecilia the kids laughed as they fell on the floor and rolled around giggling like crazy and Meredith smiled as she let up and put her hands gently on the kid's heads stroking their hair, "okay I think that's enough excitement for now."

"What are we doing now Meri?" Cecilia said.

"Well there's a funny smell" Meredith muttered as she turned up her nose.

"What smell" Josh said as he got to his feet and started to sniff the air around him.

"Hmmm I think its," Meredith gave Josh a huge whiff and Josh giggled, "I think it's you two."

"We stink" Cecilia said as she sniffed herself.

"That's right so i'm giving you two a bath."

"Can it be a bath with bubbles" Cecilia said as Josh nodded.

"Lots of bubbles" Meredith said as she led the kids into the bathroom, she turned on the taps "okay now we're going to go over some rules."

"Are there rules?" Josh asked with worry.

"Don't worry Josh they're very simple rules don't splash each other because it makes a mess in the bathroom, be careful when using the soap so it doesn't get in your eyes and wait for me before you use the shampoo."

Cecilia grabbed Meredith's hand, "where are you going?"

"To cook dinner otherwise i'll be so hungry i'll eat you two for dinner," Cecilia laughed as Meredith pressed her mouth to the little girl's chest making loud snuffling noises.

Meredith came back twenty minutes later and gasped as she saw the tub full of bubbles and no sign of the kids. "Josh Ceci" she cried out in fear as her hands reached through the soapy water and Josh and Cecilia rose up on the other side of the tub smiling from ear to ear. Meredith felt the beating in her heart settling and she frowned, "that was not funny you two gave me a fright."

Josh looked at Meredith's angry face and he started to cry. Meredith quickly felt her anger extinguish and he softly stroked the boy's head, "Josh its alright" she said softly.

"I'm sorry" Josh said as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Sweetheart listen it was just a joke okay its fine to play jokes once in a while, but I thought I was going to have to get a big fish net and scoop you guys out from the tub."

Josh sniffed and Meredith gently wiped the boy's eyes with a towel then she looked at Cecilia's guilty face, "i'm guessing this was your idea misses Cecilia."

"Um maybe."

"Well who wants me to turn on the cold tap?"

"No no wait wait" Cecilia grabbed Meredith's forearm with her soap covered hands, "we're sorry we're sorry."

Meredith smiled wickedly and put a hand on the tap, "here comes the freezing cold-"

"Sorry sorry" Josh said as he reached up and hugged Meredith's neck, "sorry sorry" he repeated and Meredith smiled as Josh hugged him. The little boy was a mini version of Derek and Meredith was starting to feel that Josh was slowly opening up and starting to trust Meredith. Meredith didn't even care that her clothes were now covered with soap as she gave the little boy a hug and put her remaining hand off the taps, "okay no cold water then just ten different kinds of yummy veggies for dinner."

"Yuck" Cecilia said.

She dressed the kids in two of her oversized tee shirts and led them out to the kitchen where three plates of food had been prepared, "well what do you think?"

"It looks really yummy" Cecilia said as she looked at the pasta and meatballs.

"Yeah yummy" Josh added.

"Well that's good I thought afterwards we could watch something on the Disney channel would you like that." Cecilia nodded in excitement, "is daddy coming soon?"

"He's coming very soon" Meredith said smiling gently, "don't you worry."

"But that means we don't get to stay here with you" Cecilia muttered unhappily.

"Well your dad will be very happy to see you."

"Can he come tomorrow" Josh whispered. Meredith looked at him trying not to look as surprised as she felt at the boy's words, "when your dad comes i'll ask him to stay for a while."

"For a hundred years" Cecilia said.

"I think that's a bit too long."

Meredith sat on the couch while Cecilia and Josh sat cross legged on the carpet watching a cartoon when Josh ran to the front door, "Josh what is it?" Meredith said.

"I drew a picture in day care" Josh replied as he came running back holding a A4 sheet.

"Can I see it Josh?" Meredith held out her hand and Josh lifted it up to Meredith, "here Meri."

Meredith looked at a drawing of trees and smiled, "that's beautiful you're a wonderful artist little dude."

"Thanks" Josh said smiling.

"I made a picture too" Cecilia said as she pushed a sheet of paper into Meredith's lap, Meredith glanced at it, "wow this looks like a princess, is this Cinderella or Snow White?"

"It's you" Cecilia said grinning.

"Ceci it's very nice but remember i'm not a princess."

"I know Meri you just look like one."

"Thank you" Meredith said, "they're both wonderful pictures i'm sure your dad will love seeing them." Cecilia and Josh crawled up on to the couch and curled up to Meredith's side. Meredith put an arm around each of them as she watched the cartoon until she saw Cecilia and Josh closing their eyes,"I think you should go to bed."

Cecilia immediately opened her eyes, "i'm awake i'm awake."

"Me too me too" Josh said as he tried not to yawn.

"You're falling asleep" Meredith said with amusement.

"But if we go to sleep it will be the end of the day."

"Cecilia" Meredith whispered, you'll always see me some other time."

"Okay" Cecilia said sadly.

"I'll read you two a story" Meredith said, Cecilia smiled widely.

"Where are we sleeping Meri?" Josh asked.

"Your going to sleep in my bed tonight and i'm sleeping out here on the couch."

"We're stealing your bed" Josh whispered.

"No Josh its okay there isn't enough room on the couch for the two of you, you have a good sleep and Derek I mean your dad will be here soon." Meredith led Cecilia and Josh to the bed and lifted them both in, "okay now i'll read goodnight moon."

"That story is too short."

"I haven't got any other stories Ceci."

"We can make up stories" Cecilia said, "like the story of the emu names Edward."

"That's a good story" Josh said.

"I would like to hear that story myself" Meredith sat on the bed as Cecilia cleared her throat. "Once upon a time" Cecilia said she continued to ramble on until Meredith heard her yawn and she looked at the kids fast asleep. Meredith watched them feeling warm inside and then putting a blanket over the two of them she got up and started to wander to the couch.

"Meri" a small voice said.

Meredith looked at Cecilia, "yes sweetie."

"Can you um-" Cecilia stopped in mid sentence and Meredith walked to Cecilia's side with worry she had never seen the girl look so uncomfortable. "What is it" Meredith whispered gently, "honey if there is something wrong you can tell me okay."

Cecilia looked up at Meredith with wide pleading eyes, "could you please... kiss me goodnight."

Meredith smiled warmly as she bended down to kiss the little girl's cheek feeling relief that nothing was wrong until she saw Cecilia looking at her with tear filled eyes and she rose up to give Meredith a big hug. Meredith held her close and she kissed Cecilia's cheek again, "thank you Meri" Cecilia whispered.

"Goodnight sweetie."

"Wait" Cecilia said as she pointed at her sleeping brother, "you forgot Josh."

"Don't worry I haven't forgotten Josh" she said as she brushed the hair off the boy's forehead before kissing it, "if there is anything you need Ceci just come and find me i'll be on the couch." Cecilia smiled widely and closed her eyes before Meredith walked back to the living room feeling like she had somehow made a little girl's dreams come true and wondering about a lot of things.

Two hours passed and Meredith heard a loud knocking on her door she quickly answered it and Derek came storming in huffing and puffing, "where are they" he said looking around.

"Who?" Meredith said grinning.

"Who do you think the wizard of oz, where are my kids?"

"I don't know."

"Meredith" Derek said in an irritated voice, "what happened to them are they alright?"

"Oh your kids yeah sorry Derek I was out of food so I made some kid stew."

"Hilarious" Derek muttered as Meredith laughed, "where are they?"

"They're sleeping on my bed it's okay."

"Oh god" Derek looked at his watch, "i'm that late."

"Derek they've been asleep for hours."

"Right" Derek said as he started to walk to the bedroom, "I had better wake them up."

"Or you could let them sleep."

"What do you mean?"

"You could stay the night."

"What?" Derek cried out.

"You could sleep on the carpet or you could sleep on the couch."

"Meredith I don't think so."

"Oh come on both of those options are very comfortable."

Derek racked his tired brain trying to think of a reason not to stay part of him wanted to stay at Meredith's place but he kept thinking of how complicated things would be tomorrow morning, "the kids don't have a change of clothes."

"They're wearing my shirts they're fine."

"What about food" Derek said waving an arm around.

"Don't worry I really do have things to eat for tomorrow."

"But what about-"

"What what what" Meredith said in a mocking tone of voice, "what's with all the whats."

"Meredith you're being very nice, but I just-"

"Being nice is just my nature now come on" Meredith said giving Derek a pat on the back, "you can have the couch i'll get you a blanket." Meredith wandered into her bathroom brushing her hair feeling optimistic about spending another evening with Derek and she came back wearing pyjamas to find Derek lying fast asleep on the carpet. Meredith put the blanket she was carrying on the couch and gently ran a hand over Derek's shoulder. He shot up in a fright Meredith let out a giggle, "sorry sleepyhead."

"I'm sorry you're right this floor is very comfortable."

"Derek it isn't your bedtime yet."

"I'm a parent this is my bedtime because the kids will be up at dawn." Meredith gave him a gentile smile as she realised she was going to have to play hard ball to get what she wanted, "you don't want to watch a movie?"

"Really a movie at this time?"

"Okay then you can go to sleep and be my footrest" Meredith said as she sat down on her couch and put her bare feet on Derek's chest he let out a squeak of pain, "i'm going to watch a film."

Derek tried to squirm and Meredith kept her feet firmly in place, "Derek you should go back to sleep."

"Sorry Meredith I shouldn't have gone to sleep." Meredith nodded as she released Derek and watched him crawl up to sit on the couch beside her, "I can see where Josh gets his worrying from."

Derek glanced sideways at Meredith, "what do you mean worrying?"

"Both of you worry a lot and sometimes too much about hurting other people's feelings."

"Yeah" Derek replied, "I guess that's true."

"Derek it's very nice you care about other people, but if you worry too much than you find it hard to joke and kid around."

"So when you say joke and kid around" Derek said with a grin, "does that involve doing this" he pulled Meredith to her feet and hoisted her over his shoulder. Meredith cried out as she waved her legs in the air, "Derek" she yelled.

"Let's go for a ride."

"Derek wait" she cried out laughing hard as Derek carried her through her kitchen she grabbed the fridge door to try and stop Derek and she watched it open up, "the kids" she cried out.

"Yeah that was a little too loud" Derek said as he put Meredith down and smiled catching his breath. Meredith gently punched him in the arm, "okay you owe me for that experience."

"I'll watch a movie with you and I don't care if it's a really girly film."

"Good and don't fall asleep or I will wake you up again."

"I promise" Derek raised his hand in a scout's honour motion, "I won't fall asleep."

Twenty minutes later Meredith looked at Derek next to her on the couch sleeping peacefully she shook her head and turning off the television she put a blanket over Derek before snuggling up to his side and rested her head on his chest. She smiled she had wanted to do this for so long even if Derek wasn't aware of this happening. "Goodnight Derek" she whispered as her arms hugged Derek's warm muscular body and she closed her eyes to dream of a world where she, Derek and Derek's kids were a real family.


	7. Chapter 7

Meredith opened her eyes slowly as the sunlight hit her face she looked around her wondering why she was awake in the living room and not in her usual comfortable bed than she saw Derek's face close to her own and she smiled as the events of last night came back to her. She settled back down and rested her head on Derek's shirt covered chest closing her eyes wanting to get back to sleep and enjoy the closeness she felt with Derek for as long as possible. She felt herself drifting away then a knock on the door caused Meredith to open her eyes and sigh she carefully removed herself from Derek arms and walking to her front door in her pyjamas she opened it up a smidgen and saw Izzie looking at her with curiosity, "Izzie hi what brings you here."

Izzie gave her friend a confused look, "you asked me last weekend to lend you this textbook and I finally got round to giving it to you."

"Oh right" Meredith hastily said as she reached one arm through the small gap to grab the book, "well i'll see you at work." She tried to close the door, "wait a second" Izzie said with clear annoyance, "is that all the thanks I get."

"Sorry" Meredith said, "thank you Izzie i'll buy you a coffee at work see you later." She closed the door and relaxed seeing Derek was still asleep she started to walk back to the couch to snuggle with him and a knock on the door sounded. Meredith did a silent yet violent shaking her fists in the air and went to open the door a tiny crack, "is something going on in there."

Meredith saw one of Izzie's eyes searching through the gap in the doorway and she felt herself growing impatient, "no it's just... i'm just out of the shower and I don't want everyone in the apartment complex seeing me wearing a towel."

"Oh right" Izzie bluntly muttered then her eye widened, "is that a jacket on the chair by your couch?"

"Ah yeah that... that is a jacket it belongs to me."

Izzie opened her mouth, "you've got a man in there haven't you."

"No Izzie he just stayed the night."

"I bet he stayed the night what happened?"

Meredith felt herself going red, "nothing happened Izzie."

Izzie peaked on tiptoe and looked at her friend with a knowing smirk, "why do I see a pair of man's shoes on the couch."

"He slept on the couch."

"Where did you sleep?"

"Well the kids were having my bed."

"Kids" Izzie said now positively beaming, "well that's fast work Meredith have long have you know the guy?"

Meredith's face was burning beet red, "Izzie will you stop being silly look I watched Derek's kids last night while he was at work he got in late and we watched a movie and we fell asleep on the couch that's all that happened."

Izzie giggled, "Derek huh well it sounds like a step in the right direction."

"Right direction what does that mean?"

"Well remember the other night when we went to that club and I told you that you needed to go out there and get laid?"

"How could I forget" Meredith said with a quiet moan.

"Well I don't think you quite understood what I meant... but sleeping on the couch with Derek is kind of what I-."

"Izzie" Meredith cried out as Izzie continued to smirk through the door, "thank you for the textbook I will see you at work."

"Okay go get him beautiful."

Meredith closed the door and trying her best to forget about the embarrassing conversation she had just had with Izzie she started to walk back to where she most wanted to be now. She stopped to lean over the arms of her couch and looked for a long ten seconds at Derek sleeping peacefully. Meredith wanted to curl up beside him again but one glance at the clock on her wall told her that she had little time before she needed to go to work. She reluctantly put one hand on Derek's chest smiled gently at him and quickly darted to her bedroom. She saw Cecilia and Josh curled up close to each other on her bed still fast asleep. Meredith chuckled _the shepherds sure know how to sleep in_ she thought to herself. She got a fresh set of work clothes from her cupboard and after changing in the bathroom she came back five minutes later and rummaged through her folder for her case notes.

"Meri where are you?" Meredith turned around and saw Cecilia rubbing her eyes, "good morning Ceci."

Cecilia smiled as she saw Meredith before jumping out of bed to run in to her arms. Meredith gave her a long gentile cuddle and gently stroked Cecilia's small head, "do you want breakfast?"

"Yes please Meri."

"Okay we'll let Josh sleep for a bit longer," Meredith took the girl's hand and led her out into the living room. "Daddy" Cecilia cried out as she saw Derek sleeping on the couch before running to jump on to Derek's stomach. Derek let out a loud oomph as his eyes sprung open and he held his gut completely winded as Cecilia hugged him. Meredith giggled before reaching over the back of the coach to pat him on the shoulder, "morning Derek."

"Hi" Derek gasped as he wheezed.

"Where where you last night daddy?" Cecilia asked as she played with her dad's hands.

"I was at work Cecilia" Derek glanced at his watch, "and I need to go back to work now."

"Do you want to take a shower" Meredith said, "while I get the kids dressed and fed?"

"Ah" Derek watched his daughter hopping off the couch and walking over to Meredith to hold the woman's hand with a smile stretching across her small features. He nodded knowing that Meredith would have no problem looking after his children. "Sure thanks" he muttered as he wandered off and Meredith gently tapped Cecilia's little nose making her giggle, "okay kiddo I got some cereal."

"Cool Meri" Meredith got out the cereal and a bowel while Cecilia watched Meredith closely, "here you go some coco puffs." Meredith poured Cecilia a bowl and stopped as she saw Cecilia deep in thought, "is something wrong Ceci?"

"Meri are we coming back here tonight?"

Meredith gently shook her head, "No Ceci you're going to go home with your dad tonight once he finishes work."

"Oh" Cecilia whispered than her face lit up, "are you coming too?"

"No honey I can't come with you I need to study tonight."

"Can you please come?" Cecila said with eager eyes and a wide smile, "please pretty please."

Meredith shook her head smiling, "maybe some other time sweetie."

Ceci nodded as she looked at the floor, Meredith gently walked round the table and rubbed Cecilia's shoulder, "i'm going to wake up Josh."

Cecilia looked up at Meredith no longer smiling, "okay" she whispered Meredith smiled warmly at the girl before walking to her bedroom. She gently rubbed Josh's head with her hand until the little boy opened his eyes, "hey little dude it's time to get up."

Josh looked around him with wonder. "It's okay" Meredith whispered, "this is my bedroom and you're in my home and your dad and sister are here too."

"Where are they Meri?"

"Your dad is in the shower and your sister is having breakfast in the kitchen."

"Oh" the boy said quietly, "what am I doing Meri?"

"Well I think you need something to eat so i'll get you some food." Meredith gently picked Josh up in her arms, "and then when your daddy gets out of the shower we're going to go to the hospital."

Ten minutes later Meredith Cecilia and Josh were eating cereal when Derek came into the room with his hair pointing every which way. "Hey" Meredith said giggling while Cecilia and Josh laughed, "looking good."

Derek shook his head, "that shampoo in your shower has me smelling like a rainforest."

"It's a lovely smell" Meredith said as she walked over to Derek and gave his hair a whiff, "you smell like tropical fruit."

"I hope I don't meet any orangutans at work today."

Meredith chuckled as she rubbed his shoulder, "I have a hairbrush if you need it."

"That would be great" Derek muttered as he felt his sticky hair while Meredith led him into the bathroom and got the brush out. Derek thanked her with a smile and started to brush it gritting his teeth as he felt pain. "Okay I think this is a job for me" Meredith said as she started to brush Derek's hair, "are you sure you only used my shampoo" as she met knot after knot, "because it feels like you used a ton of gel."

Derek flinched and hissed in pain as Meredith brushed as hard as she could, "that hairbrush feels like a razor."

"Well stop squirming so I can get that hair under control Harry Potter."

"How can I stay still when you're giving me a migraine?"

"That's it" Meredith said as she wrapped an arm around Derek's neck, "now to finish your makeover off." She laughed with Derek as her brush got the last of the curls on Derek's head. She wrapped her other arm around Derek's neck and smiled no longer laughing as she hugged Derek from behind and looked at their reflection in the bathroom mirror at how close they were to each other, he saw Derek smiling too as his hand gently covered Meredith's.

_Who lives in a pineapple under the sea Spongebob Squarepants_.

Derek rolled his eyes, "I don't recall either of us giving my kids permission to watch your television."

Meredith closed her eyes, _every time I have a close moment with Derek we get interrupted by something_,"it's alright with me Derek."

"It isn't with me they know better than this."

"Derek its fine really."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes its fine" Meredith said smiling then her phone buzzed, "we still haven't had breakfast yet."

"Yeah" Derek muttered as he looked at his watch, "I got to get my kids dressed."

Fifteen minutes later Derek was driving to Seattle with Meredith sitting in the passenger seat and Cecilia and Josh sitting in the back seat looking out the windows at the buildings they were driving past. Derek looked at Meredith and realised that this was the first time that Meredith wasn't chatting away with him, "are you worried about something Meredith?" Derek asked.

Meredith turned her head to look at him, "i'm just concerned about today, I was told I was going to work with a different team with someone else watching me work and i'm so used to my regular supervisor. I don't know how i'm going to cope with another supervisor watching over me."

"You'll be fine Meredith."

Meredith smiled slowly, "that's usually what I say to you when you're worried about something."

"Yeah that's true."

"Except when you worry it usually is nothing to worry about." Derek smirked, "well your one to talk I bet you can charm anyone working with you just by smiling at them."

"You really think so" Meredith whispered feeling warm feelings blossoming inside of her.

"I know so" Derek said smiling with Meredith, Cecilia watched the two of them and she smiled to herself. Meredith and Derek led Cecilia and Josh into day care, Meredith bent down to hug the kids goodbye and Cecilia clung to Meredith tightly, "Meri can you please pick us up from day care again."

"Sure Ceci someday I will."

"I mean today" the girl said.

"Not today sweetie."

"Please Meri please."

"Honey I need to work and your dad will pick you up."

"Can you both get us" Josh whispered shyly as he looked back and forth between his dad and Meredith, "Josh I can't today sweetheart but i'll see both of you soon."

"Promise" Cecilia whispered.

"Promise" Meredith whispered back, Derek watched them with wonder before he hugged his kids goodbye and started to walk with Meredith down the corridor to the elevator, "thank you Meredith" he said softly.

"For what?"

"For being nice to my kids."

"My pleasure" Meredith said softly, the doors opened and the pair saw Cristina standing there with crossed arms, "Cristina" Derek said as he greeted their friend with a polite nod.

"You two are late."

"Last time I checked" Derek said smiling at Meredith, "I was the head of neurosurgery i'm allowed to be late."

Cristina raised an eyebrow, "well what about you Meredith you don't have permission to be late."

"Cristina I am so sorry it will never happen-"

"Cristina" Derek said in a professional tone of voice, "we're about two minutes late and the reason Misses Grey is late is my fault." Cristina shrugged her shoulders, "well i'm not the boss so I don't make the calls, i'm just bringing this up because you Derek are late for your supervision session."

Derek's blood ran cold this was the part of the job that scared him the most and he had no idea that today he was going to be taking on an intern, "Cristina why didn't you tell me, this is-"

"Don't swear Derek" Meredith said quickly, "its fine all you have to do is look like you have some idea what you're doing and the newbie on the team will love watching you."

Derek nodded as he regained his professional self, "okay who is it i'm supervising have I met him before."

"It's a her and yes you have already met."

"Okay good" Derek muttered uncomfortably, "give me a few minutes and then send the new person into my office."

"Don't you want to know who she is first?"

"Cristina i'll find that out in two minutes" he turned to Meredith, "Meredith can we uh meet up later." Meredith beamed and opened her mouth before words could come out Cristina pushed a folder into Derek's hands, "Derek look at the file."

Derek glanced over it and his eyes widened, "what's wrong?" Meredith said.

"The new person i'm supervising today, is you."

Meredith smiled as she felt her whole body relax, "and there was me thinking it was going to be difficult."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Derek said looking like he was about to walk through a field of hanging electric wires.

"You're easy to please" Meredith said before laughing as Derek blew air through his lips and he made a nodding gesture towards the direction of his office, "well lets head in there and i'll fill you in on what we're doing."

An hour later Meredith was in the operating theatre trying to stay focused, but all she could look at was Derek as he focused on his work with intense concentration, she watched him mumbling to himself and she approached him, "Derek" she said through her face mask.

"Sir" Derek said quickly.

"Sorry Derek" Meredith whispered.

"Call me sir intern" Derek muttered.

"Okay sir would you like me to pass you something?"

"I have everything here thank you."

"Okay what would you like me to do?"

"Just watch and learn" Derek said abruptly.

"Can I help you at all?" Meredith said feeling a need to give her share of the load.

"No leave it to me" Derek said in an irritated tone of voice.

Meredith felt a flash of anger she had been a neurosurgeon for several weeks and her previous supervisors and staff had never spoken to her like this, "Derek" she said trying not to show her aggravation in her words, "I want to help".

"Sir Meredith call me sir do I have to repeat myself."

"You know what" Meredith said with quiet fury, "i'll get out of your way."

"Okay" Derek mumbled without looking up, Meredith walked out of the operation theatre and wandered until she saw a private cupboard she entered it and bellowed in her hands until she started to feel better again. Meredith walked outside and she saw Derek coming towards her glaring, "intern why did you walk out in the middle of an operation?"

Meredith took off her mask and gloves so Derek could see her frowning at him, "Derek."

"Sir call me sir intern, if you want to stay in this profession you need to change your attitude."

"Sir i'm going to call you a prat if you don't stop calling me intern."

"What?" Derek replied.

"Derek why did you act like that?"

"Like what" Derek said as he quickly adopted a defending posture, "like a professional?"

"Like a big-" Meredith stopped herself she couldn't bring herself to call Derek the word that was on her mind, "Derek we're friends aren't we?"

"Yes" Derek said simply.

"If we're friends why did you talk to me like you never met me before, like I was just a disposable employee who didn't know what she was doing?"

"I just wanted you to do a good job."

"By telling me to just sit there and watch you?"

"You wouldn't have been able to do anything if I let you, you would have stuffed things up your new to this."

"Derek I might be new but it doesn't mean i'm useless, I could have done something to help you."

"Look Meredith."

"Oh" Meredith said as she cross her arms in anger, "now you're calling me Meredith, you're not calling me intern sir."

"Meredith" Derek said trying to speak then he shook his head and turned around, "you know what I can't deal with this."

"Derek don't walk away" Meredith yelled.

"I've got to get back to work" Derek called back, "and if you want this job then you'll come back, watch me and keep your mouth shut."

"Derek" Meredith yelled with rage, _I can't believe I ever had feelings for him... who are you kidding Meredith_. She threw her gloves and mask on the ground and stormed off through the hospital.

Derek couldn't focus on what he was doing he just told the other staff to carry on and he walked out of the operation theatre and sighed as he slumped to the floor and kept replaying the conversation he had with Meredith over and over in his head. Derek closed his eyes he felt terrible, terrible for how he had acted and terrible for hurting Meredith. He stayed sitting on the floor and felt a hand rubbing his shoulder he looked up at Cristina smiling down at him, "hey you big doofus."

"Hey" Derek said quietly, "I take it Meredith told you what happened."

"That you behaved like an ass, yeah she told me."

"I think I was worse than an ass."

Cristina grinned as she sat down next to Derek on the floor, "Derek did you ever wonder to yourself why you are so unpopular among the staff here?"

"I just get carried away with being professional."

"I get the fact that you want to do well in your job because you think having this job will give your kids the best life that you can give them, but Derek you can be a good leader without acting like a FBI executive."

"How do I do that?" Derek rubbed his face with the palms of his hands, "because I can't figure it out."

"You smile, you call people by their names and not new person or intern, say things like good job and only be stern when necessary, it's that simple."

"I should do that shouldn't I?"

"Yes that way you don't have to spend every lunch break in your office alone with Meredith."

"Did Meredith tell you that?"

"I figured it out myself, you can go to the cafeteria with Meredith and be around people you can call friends if you just try to show your true colours in this place."

"I don't think i'm going to see Meredith any time soon."

"Derek" Cristina said shaking her head, "you argued with Meredith that's all it is you can fix it."

"How?" Derek muttered.

"You think of something." Cristina stood up, "and don't act like a professional."

Hours later Meredith was walking outside into the hospital garden to look at the sun, the anger in her heart had faded a long time ago and had been replaced with feelings of pain. "I should have been professional" Meredith whispered, "Derek was just doing his job why did I have to get carried away." She felt terrible she had said those things about Derek and she wanted to apologise to him and try to go back to where they used to be, her eyes filled with tears.

"Meredith" a voice said, Meredith turned around and Derek was there holding a large bouquet, "i'm sorry I should never have-"

"I'm sorry Derek" Meredith slowly took the flowers from his hands.

Derek shook his head, "i'm the one who should apologise."

"I should have acted better."

"You acted great you were great."

"I didn't do anything remember" Meredith said smiling, "and i'm now no longer a neurosurgeon because i'm out of a job for walking off."

"Meredith of course you're... I was just being an idiot."

Meredith smiled, "Derek can we not fight like this."

"Agreed" Derek said walking closer to Meredith, "I hate hurting you."

"Me too" Meredith whispered she put down the flowers and reached up to hug Derek tightly, "Derek can you be my supervisor again?"

"I will as long as you forgive me."

"Of course I do Derek, and i'll be better"

"You don't have to be better Meredith your perfect.

Meredith smiled widely, "sir your being too sweet."

"Intern it was my intention to be sweet" Derek said softly, Meredith chuckled with Derek as she drew back and the pair wandered back slowly into the hospital.


	8. Chapter 8

It had been two weeks since the supervision day at the hospital between Derek and Meredith. The following day the two of them had talked about the idea of Derek supervising Meredith while she remained an intern at Seattle Grace Hospital. Meredith had made it clear that she would be more professional and understanding of Derek's supervision methods and that she wouldn't get angry at him regardless of whatever way Derek communicated with her during a supervision session. Derek however had other ideas, he had insisted that he didn't want to risk their friendship because he still felt bad inside about the way he had spoken to Meredith, and he knew he couldn't permanently change his behaviour as a supervisor overnight. So instead of agreeing with Meredith's idea of Derek supervising her during work, Derek had made it clear to Meredith's previous supervisor that he felt Meredith was a terrific intern, and that Meredith would benefit more from working with people who had introduced her to the neurosurgery profession. Since then Meredith had rapidly made progress in her line of work she had impressed her supervisors and had demonstrated knowledge and skills as an intern beyond her experience, at least once a day people told her how impressed they were with her abilities and what a great neurosurgeon she would make. It always raised Meredith's spirits when she heard praise from her colleagues regarding her efforts to do a good job and carry her share of the work load.

As good as things had been for her in her professional life her personal life had been a different story. Since the day that Derek and Meredith had discussed Derek not supervising Meredith anymore she had not seen the man who Meredith was starting to strongly feel was one of her closest friends in the world in nearly a fortnight. Despite her success at work inside Meredith knew that she had never had a more miserable summer in her life. She missed seeing Derek, talking with Derek and Derek holding her in his arms so much it was like a constant stomach ache. She had repeatedly tried every tactic that she had thought of to see Derek, she had texted him regularly trying to meet up with him, she had tried seeing him in his office during her quick breaks and she had often just made excuses to her supervisor and colleagues to leave work for ten minutes to try to catch Derek wherever he might be. As hard as she had tried her efforts had been for nought, Derek seemed to be always either working or running to an emergency at work not to mention he was a single parent. Almost every text message she had sent Derek had been replied with something like _I would love to Meredith but i'm stuck with work can we meet later._

Meredith had of course tried to get off work to meet Derek later but due to being an intern who had worked at Seattle Grace hospital for just over a month her shifts had both grown and changed from mornings until late afternoons to late afternoon until nearly midnight which was the time Derek would go to sleep. Two days ago Meredith had asked her supervisor if she could temporality change supervisors due to a wanting to learn from different people excuse in the hope she could be watched by Derek for a few days. The problem there had been her supervisor was so proud of herself that Meredith had a successful first month she wouldn't even consider allowing Meredith to be taught by another supervisor. Meredith had figured that out when she had seen the looks on her supervisor and Cristina's face both of them had lied and simply told Meredith it wasn't a good idea, and Meredith knew it was a waste of time asking them again. Meredith had once or twice said to her supervisor that she was sick to try and see Derek on the rare occasion that he had the day off, but even on those days Derek had been called in to the hospital with a new list of patients to manage.

In spite of the frustration Meredith felt she had never been angry with Derek not even once, she knew in her heart that Derek had tried just as hard to meet up with Meredith. He had texted Meredith every day asking her how she was, asking her if they could meet up when he was free and Meredith Derek and his kids could go and do something together. Every time this had happened Meredith had texted him back with _I can't wait_, and then on the day they were due to go out Meredith had been called in to work. Because she had missed a few days of work pretending she had been sick to see Derek she had been forced to cancel on him to keep her job. It wasn't just Derek she missed she missed Cecilia and Josh, she missed seeing them almost as much as she missed seeing Derek. They were two kids who she hadn't known for very long and had only seen a few times, but they were two children who Meredith adored beyond words and just like she missed Derek, she missed them terribly as well.

One day after the clock had signalled the start of her lunch break and she had opened her phone to find that Derek had replied to her most recent text message with, _i'm really sorry I can't meet up for lunch can we have dinner at chuck e cheese with the kids_, and Meredith after looking at her roster had realised that tonight she was working until eleven o clock, she decided that she had enough of missing Derek and his family.

"Cristina" Meredith said to her friend as she took off her gloves and her mask, "i'm heading downstairs."

"Are you alright Meredith?" Cristina said as she touched Meredith's shoulder with alarm noticing the fire blazing in Meredith's blue eyes.

"I'm going to do what i've wanted to do for weeks, if there is an emergency ask someone else to step up and do it because for once I am having my full lunch break." Cristina had never seen Meredith this fired up and she quickly nodded having a strong feeling that arguing with the intern would bring dire consequences to their working relationship.

Meredith ran to the day care unit of the hospital pausing every time she waited for the elevator to glance at her watch. She raced to the entrance, not stopping to catch her breath, not even stopping to apologise to the people she nearly bumped into in the corridor. She reached the day care unit in under five minutes and was greeted at the entrance by the carer she had spoken to the last time she had been there. The woman looked at Meredith panting for breath before smiling, "are you here to pick up the shepherd kids again?"

"Not this time" Meredith gasped as she clutched her side, "I just want to see them."

"Well that shouldn't be a problem, i'll go get them for you."

Meredith nodded as she took a deep breath and sitting on a chair she waited with as much calmness as she could muster. She knew from her experiences as a teacher that the facts were that Cecilia and Josh were both very young, had little to do with Meredith apart from a few babysitting sessions and had not seen Meredith in two weeks. It was very likely that they would hardly even remember Meredith. Those thoughts haunted her as she tried to find some hope in her heart that Cecilia and Josh hadn't forgotten Meredith and that they would be happy to see her. Then she two small children that Meredith had missed terribly slowly walking around the corner followed by a staff member. Cecilia and Josh looked around them with confused expressions until they saw Meredith smiling at them anxiously and after looking at her for a moment they quickly ran into her waiting arms hugging Meredith tightly. Meredith hugged them back as she felt feelings of pain quickly fading from her spirit, "I missed you two" Meredith whispered.

Meredith sat on a chair with Cecilia and Josh sitting in her lap fiddling with Meredith's hair, coat and whatever part of Meredith's face their small hands could touch while Meredith's own hands affectionately rubbed the children's backs. Cecilia rested her head against Meredith's chest, "I thought you were never coming back."

Meredith's right hand paid attention to rubbing Cecilia's little head, "do you remember the last time we met I promised you that I would see you again and I kept my promise."

"It was a long time" Cecilia whispered.

"I know honey, i'm sorry I didn't get to see you sooner."

"You came back though" Josh said smiling. Meredith nodded as she smiled at the little boy, "I did because I wanted to see you too."

"I'm glad you came back" Josh said as Cecilia nodded with a small smile. Meredith felt her heart softening, "Josh you're so sweet"

Cecilia coughed, "and so are you" Meredith said tickling Cecilia who laughed loudly as she squirmed in Meredith's lap. Josh climbed on to Meredith's shoulders and planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek. Cecilia stretched her arms and wrapped them around Meredith's neck, "daddy misses you too" the little girl whispered in Meredith's ear.

"I miss him as well Ceci" Meredith said sadly.

"He says he wants to see you, but he can't because work keeps being bad."

"Work is very bad Ceci, I wish me and your dad didn't have to do it." Cecilia nodded as she hugged Meredith's neck tightly.

"Are you coming to my birthday Meri" Josh said. Meredith instantly snapped to full attention she looked at Josh with wide eyes, "your birthday" she whispered.

"It's on Saturday" Cecilia said, "auntie Amelia will be there and so will lots of other kids."

"Can you please come too" Josh whispered as both of his hands tightly gripped one of Meredith's hands, "I really want you to."

"Me to and daddy three" Cecilia added, Meredith turned her head and saw how eager Cecilia looked. Meredith just kept repeating the same sentence in her head, _Derek why didn't you tell me._ She looked back and forth at the children and smiled, "of course i'm coming your daddy told me all about it, and I wouldn't miss it even if wild dinosaurs showed up to your party and tried to scare me away."

Josh and Cecilia smiled widely until Josh got an idea in his head, "what about work" Josh whispered.

"I'll tell work to go and jump in a big puddle because I want to spend the day with you two"

"Daddy as well" Cecilia said smiling.

"And your daddy as well, when he picks you up today can you tell him i'm looking forward to seeing him." The children both nodded, "can you play with us Meredith?" Meredith smiled at Josh, "love to play with you two, you can show me all the toys you get to play with in day care."

Nearly an hour later Meredith was on her way back to work when her mobile buzzed she looked at Derek's number and shaking her head she opened it up, "Meredith are you free?"

"No Derek my break has just finished."

There was a sigh on the other end of the phone, "shit" Derek muttered. Meredith's eyes flashed with anger, "don't give me shit Derek why didn't you tell me about Josh's birthday?"

There was a long silence at the end of the phone, "Meredith I was going to tell you."

"When were you going to tell me" Meredith's said her voice dripping with sarcasm, "the day after his birthday?"

"Meredith i'm sorry I was going to tell you tonight." Meredith felt her anger being replaced with sadness and she whispered into the phone, "we've tried to meet up for two weeks and then I hear about this from the kids."

"The kids told you this?" Derek said in an astonished tone of voice.

"I went down to the day care unit to see them, because I miss them and I miss you two Derek."

"I miss you as well" Derek said softly.

"So Josh tells me there is going to be a party."

"There is, a couple of kids from day care are coming to my house and a few of their parents, and my sister Amelia is coming as well."

"You invited a lot of people than to your house."

"Meredith I know I know, I should have asked you sooner, I feel awful."

"Derek i'm sorry" Meredith said as she leaned against the corridor wall holding her head with one hand, "I just want to see you."

"Same here Meredith."

"So i'll see you Saturday" Meredith said, "and no matter what works says I will be there."

"Looking forward to it."

_Saturday morning_

Derek was lying in bed and was being slowly waken up by two small bodies climbing on to his torso, "daddy its today" Josh said excitedly.

"Today" Derek said with an amused smirk holding on to the covers as Cecilia tried to pull them off to get her daddy out of bed, "I thought we were going to the park next week."

"Not the park daddy, Josh's birthday."

"Did you forget?" Josh whispered in a scared voice.

Derek pulled on a pair of pants jumped out of bed and lifted Josh up on his shoulders enjoying his son's laughter, "of course not my big four-year old boy, we're going to start the day by having a great breakfast."

"Did Josh get a present?" Cecilia said as she walked quickly to keep up with Derek.

"He did Cecilia" Derek said as they reached the bottom of the stairs he pointed to the large parcel on the table, Josh looked at it with amazement, "Josh this present is big" Cecilia said with excitement as Derek lifted Josh down from his shoulders and the little boy hurried to unwrap his present. He squealed loudly as he tore the paper and saw a giant train set in a box. Josh looked at hid daddy and hugged his waist tightly while Cecilia smiled, "thanks dad" the boy whispered, "love you dad."

"I love you as well mate, now your friends will be here soon so how about you two head upstairs while I get the party organised."

Cecilia was lying on her bed reading a book with her brother when she saw the worry on Josh's face out of the corner of her eye, "Josh are you sick?"

Josh shook his head with his fingers in his mouth. Cecilia put the book down and stood on her knees looking at her brother, "Josh i'm your big sister it's my job to be nice to you, can you tell me why your sad."

Josh looked up at his sister, "Cecilia I don't know what to wish for."

"Wish for" Cecilia whispered.

"When kids get a birthday cake kids wish for something really cool, but I don't know what to wish for."

Cecilia titled her head in concentration, "what did you wish for last birthday?"

"For a big sandwich with mustard on top."

Cecilia's eyes grew wide with wonder as she imagined it, "that was a great wish."

"Yeah" Josh said nodding, "but I don't know what to wish for this year."

"You got lots of time you'll think of something" Cecilia said with confidence, "guess what Josh Meri is coming to the party."

Josh grinned for a moment then his grin was replaced with a look of sadness, "but then she will go when the party ends."

Cecilia nodded unhappily, "I wish she would never ever go, I wish daddy and Meri would stay with us all the time."

Josh thought hard to himself and his face lit up, "that's what i'll wish for, i'll wish my party will last forever that way Meri and daddy will never leave for work."

"But Josh if the party lasts forever we will all get tired and fall asleep and then the party will be over."

Josh nodded and his eyes filled with tears, "I want Meri to stay with us forever I don't want her to go away again for a long time."

"Me neither" Cecilia whispered thinking hard then she squealed, "Josh I know what you can wish for."

"What Cecilia?"

"For Meri to never leave us again, that way she'll go to work and come to pick us up from day care and she'll come home with us every day just like daddy does." Josh nodded as he put a smile back on his face, "i'll wish for that Cecilia."

"That's a really special wish."

"What if I forget to make the wish when I blow out my candles?"

"I'll help you remember that's what big sisters do for little brothers."

"You're the best big sister ever Cecilia." Cecilia smiled as she and Josh hugged each other, "happy birthday little brother."

_Meanwhile at the hospital_

Meredith was working hard on her computer while quickly glancing at her watch every ten seconds as she hurriedly typed up her latest report not caring in the slightest if she made any spelling mistakes. She had finally finished her notes on her previous operation when she heard loud footsteps outside and the door to the office slowly opening, "Meredith" her supervisor called out. Meredith assuming the worst scooped up her books and computer with both arms and dived under the table to avoid being seen. "Meredith" her supervisor called again as she walked into the office. Meredith held her breath as she watched her supervisor's high heels walking around the room then she saw that the door to the office was open and when her supervisor walked further on into the coffee area she saw her chance and sneaked out of the door. She started to run through the corridor to the elevator, _you're almost there, you're almost safe_ the thoughts in her head kept telling her. "Meredith" Meredith continued to run as she pretended not to have heard Cristina, sweat builded on her forehead as she neared the elevator doors she could hear the sound of running footsteps. Meredith ran as fast as she could but Cristina was faster and just as Meredith was half a meter away from the elevator doors Cristina was in front of her blocking her escape, "Meredith your supervisor is looking for you."

"Oh right" Meredith said glancing at her watch, "well my shift is finished."

"That was what she wanted to talk to you about, there's a guest speaker coming in this evening to talk about how the department of neurosurgery in Seattle Grace hospital will be financially supported over the coming year, it would be most beneficial for your learning experience if you could attend."

Meredith wanted to pick up Cristina with her hands, shove her into the nearest closet and lock the door, "Cristina I can't make it i'm sorry."

Cristina raised her eyebrows, "are you sure you can't come this is an important occasion."

"Well so is what I need to go to now."

"Josh's birthday?"

"You were invited as well?"

"Yes and unfortunately I can't go to it because I need to be here when the guest speaker arrives, and because it is like I said important."

"Cristina please I promised Josh and Cecilia that I would go."

"What do you want me to tell your supervisor when she finds out you ditched the event to go to a child's birthday party?"

"Tell her I need to go to a funeral or something can you make something up," Meredith felt like getting down on her knees and begging her friend to let her go. Cristina continued to look at Meredith clearly displeased until she raised her eyebrows, "okay Meredith i'll do this for you one time."

Meredith breathed a sigh of relief, "thank you so much thank you."

"On the condition that you work an extra shift memorising the notes which I will take during the speaking this afternoon, and you will also do a test on what you have learned so far about neurosurgery with me as the assessor. Don't think I will go easy on you."

"Yes I will do anything."

"I know you will, now get going before I change my mind." Meredith smiled at Cristina with gratitude and Cristina gave her a small smile in return before Meredith dashed into the elevator.

_Elsewhere_

The birthday party had started off great and had slowly turned into chaos, first Derek had put on a show for the kids and had tried a magic trick involving scarfs which the children couldn't follow until Derek had tripped over the long sheets by accident which made the kids laugh so hard they had spilled cups of fizzy drink all over the carpet. Then Derek had organised a pin the tail on the donkey game with every child taking part which went very well until Derek turned around to talk with one of the mothers and a blindfolded girl named Grace had put the tail on Derek's bottom instead of the donkey hanging on the wall. After the pain in his bum had faded Derek went to check on the birthday cake that he had been making all morning and he had discovered that he had left it for too long in the oven. He had asked the mothers to keep their kids as well as Cecilia and Josh entertained while he rang up the nearest bakery asking for a new birthday cake gritting his teeth when he heard the infamous we're too busy line. He was at that stage starting to panic and then Cecilia ran to him, "daddy can we do something else."

Derek looked at the energetic children running around while their mothers tried their hardest to manage them, he looked at his happy daughter and moaned tiredly, "i'm trying to think of something for us to do Cecilia."

"Flying lessons game" Cecilia said excitedly.

"Cecilia i'm trying to... never mind okay come on." Derek lifted Cecilia up into the air while she giggled and flapped her arms in the air, soon all the kids were clambering around Derek with their arms outstretched wanting him to lift them. Ten minutes later an exhausted Derek was staggering away from the party when he heard a knock on the door he froze knowing it could only be one person. He quickly straightened his hair and walking to answer the door he opened it smiling widely, "Amelia" he said when he saw his little sister and not the woman he was hoping to see more than anyone else in the world.

"Hey big brother" Amelia hugged Derek and kissed his cheek, "how are you?"

"I'm good" Derek said trying to mask his disappointment, "it's good to see you"

Amelia gave Derek a lop sided smirk, "I would believe that if you looked happy to see me."

"I am happy to see you Amelia i'm just expecting someone... I mean never mind come on in."

"Well if you insist" Amelia said smiling as she wandered into the house, "this place doesn't look much different from when I last saw it."

"Have you noticed the mess the kids have made?"

"Like I said the difference is unnoticeable."

"Well now your here Amelia you can help me entertain the children, I think the mothers in the living room are at their wit's end."

"Well then i'm off to battle Commander Derek," Amelia gave Derek a mock salute and marched off into the living room and a second later Derek heard the squeals of "Aunty Amelia" from his two children. A knock on the door sounded again, "I hope this isn't another crazy relative or mother and child" he muttered as he opened the door. Standing in the doorway holding a present with one hand and a large cardboard box with the other was Meredith. They looked at each other for a few long seconds and then Meredith put her things down on the floor and hugged Derek tightly, "hey" Derek whispered.

"Hey" Meredith said closing her eyes enjoying the moment as much as she could.

"I'm glad you could make it."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." Meredith whispered as Derek rocked her gently in his arms. Meredith smiled to herself wanting to stay here for hours, for days when a loud cough broke Meredith from her daydream, "when you're done hugging the guests Derek can you bring out a birthday cake before the kids start screaming for it."

"I don't have a cake."

Amelia's eyes grew wide in horror, "you're kidding me."

"I have a cake" Meredith said holding up the cardboard box, "I thought just in case the other cake got eaten too quickly.

Derek smiled with relief then he noticed the shiny glue sticking to Amelia's hair, "I take it the battle isn't going to well."

"Why did you bring arts and crafts to the party?"

"Because kids like it, Meredith this is my delightful little sister Amelia."

"Hi Meredith" Amelia muttered shaking Meredith's hand, "so what brings you to the scariest place on earth?"

Meredith smirked noticing the similarity between Derek's sister and Cecilia, "Derek invited me."

"You're not a parent?"

"I used to be a teacher, so I know how challenging this can sometimes be"

"Oh thank goodness" Amelia said dramatically, i've only been here for like two minutes and it's a nightmare in there, please use your teaching skills and get those kids under control." There was a loud crash and Amelia ran into the living room as Derek looked at Meredith with unease, "still glad you came here?" he muttered.

"Of course Derek" Meredith whispered smiling, _I would do anything to see you._

A few minutes later Meredith had successfully stopped the party pandemonium and at Josh's request had organised a game of hide and seek for the kids with her and Derek as the finders. Meredith watched the children running upstairs and she turned to her fellow hunter, "okay we need to use the element of surprise" Derek whispered.

"Good idea we'll split up and search for them, they won't expect that."

Meredith walked to Cecilia and Josh's bedroom smiling gently as she peeked under the bed looking for kids, "come out come out wherever you are" she whispered.

There was a loud call of "attack" followed by an even louder scream. Meredith sprinted to the other end of the house and saw Derek lying on the carpet in another bedroom with Josh hugging his face while half a dozen kids whacked Derek with pillows. Derek squirmed while Cecilia jumped on the bed cheering the other children on. Meredith fought the urge to laugh as Derek tried to free himself from the tiny humans and gave a loud cough which made Cecilia look at Meredith, "crumbs" the girl whispered.

"Yes Cecilia crumbs, children please release Derek this instant." The kids Charlotte, Lily, Grace, Sam, Thomas and Timmy looked at each other nervously and Meredith gave them her firmest look, "whoever doesn't put their pillows down now will not be getting any cake."

The kids immediately dropped their pillows and ran out of the room leaving Meredith alone with Derek, Josh and Cecilia. "As for you two" Meredith continued, "your daddy went through a lot of trouble to put on a party for you and beating him up is a bad way to repay him."

Cecilia nodded as she hopped off the bed and Josh climbed off Derek's red face allowing him to stand up. The kids hugged his waist, "we're sorry daddy" Cecilia whispered.

"Really sorry" Josh said.

"It's alright" Derek said smiling, "it was kind of fun."

"Derek" Meredith said loudly pointing her finger at the man, "I mean" Derek said timidly, "what you did was naughty kids and you shouldn't do it again." Cecilia smirked as Meredith nodded like a general disciplining a soldier, "that's better."

Everyone gathered around the table as Josh looked at the elephant cake with excitement, he looked up at his daddy and Derek put a hand on his shoulder, "okay mate i'm just going to light the candles and then you can make a wish."

Josh looked fearfully at Cecilia who instantly came over to whisper in his ear, "Josh."

"What was the wish again?"

"Wish Meri will never leave again."

Josh looked unconvinced, "but then she'll become a statue."

"Wish Meri will stay with us forever then."

"What if daddy doesn't want Meri to stay with us forever?"

"Um" Cecilia looked at Derek and Meredith standing closely together side by side and a smile stretched across the girl's lips, "I know what to wish for."

"What" Josh said softly to his sister, Cecilia whispered in his ear and Josh nodded as he smiled too, "i'll wish for that." He took a deep breath, blew out the candles and wished with all of his heart, _I wish Meri and daddy will fall in love so they'll be with us forever. _Everyone around Josh was clapping loudly but Josh couldn't hear them he kept his eyes closed and focused on his wish.

Derek waved goodbye as Thomas the last sleeping boy was being carried away by his mother Mary and closing the door he turned to look at Meredith and Amelia, "well all I can say is thank god you were here Meredith." Meredith smiled at the compliment and Amelia gave a loud fake cough. Meredith smiled at Derek's sister, "it's easy to see where Cecilia gets her fun personality from."

"Yeah thanks" Amelia muttered sarcastically as she wearily stretched her arms.

"Thank you as well Amelia" Derek said.

"You are most welcome brother dearest, and with that Derek and Meredith I bid you both a fair adieu."

"You can hang around you know" Derek said. Meredith stood frozen worried that her opportunity of being alone with Derek was going to be taken away again. Amelia shrugged, "I need to find a hotel first."

"You could sleep on the couch."

"You know what that is not a bad idea I might just do that now since two-thirds of the shepherds are already asleep anyway." Amelia looked at Josh and Cecilia sleeping on the carpet she rubbed their shoulders gently with her hands before waving at her brother and Meredith, "nice to meet you Meredith goodnight."

Meredith giggled as Amelia wandered to the living room, "you have a very amusing family."

"Yeah I do" Derek said smiling.

"So" Meredith said nervously, she had wanted to be alone with Derek for weeks and now that they were finally alone she didn't know what to say.

"Do you want a drink" Derek said, "wine?"

"That would be lovely, but first I think we should get tweedlebee and tweedlebum to bed."

"Good idea" Derek said gently picking up Cecilia, Meredith did the same with Josh and they walked upstairs carrying the children to their bedroom. Derek kissed his kids' foreheads before wandering out of the room. Meredith gently brushed the hair off Josh's forehead, "happy birthday sweetheart" she whispered. She rubbed Cecilia's shoulder and walked out of the room, "I don't think Josh opened your present" Derek said looking downstairs at the large parcel still sitting in the kitchen.

"He'll get a lovely surprise tomorrow morning."

"Thank you for saving us from the rug rat invasion."

"You were doing great all by yourself, all I did was save you from being buried by children."

Derek shrugged his shoulders, "yeah it's kind of like a shepherd tradition that I get buried by my nieces and nephews every Christmas and now it's being passed on to the kid's birthdays as well."

"I must say I was very disappointed to hear that I missed the magic trick you did at the start of the party."

"The falling flat on my face act?"

"You wouldn't show me again would you?" Meredith started to giggle as Derek rolled his eyes, "yeah maybe someday when i'm drunk but not tonight."

Meredith chuckled with Derek as they wandered downstairs and sitting down at the kitchen table, they talked for a long time about movies books and anything else they could think of until Meredith saw Derek closing his eyes, "you're tired" she whispered.

"No i'm not" Derek said putting on an unconvincing smile, "wide awake like an owl in the night forest."

"Derek you're falling asleep."

"Sorry it's been a busy day."

"I can imagine" Meredith said sadly knowing that she had to leave Derek again. "Well I don't want to ask you to leave" Derek whispered.

Meredith's sadness disappeared almost instantly she nodded at Derek, "let's make a deal we see each other like this at least once a week and we let each other know what our rosters are."

"What about emergencies" Derek muttered.

Meredith felt a sharp jolt of aggravation, "we're not superheroes Derek we can't deal with emergencies all the time." Meredith sighed as she knew she had said the wrong thing, "I feel terrible saying that."

Derek smiled gently, "we'll see each other soon, and i'll make sure if any big events come up you will be the first one to know about it."

"That would be good."

"You could stay the night you know," Meredith's breath gasped in her throat was Derek asking her to do what she wanted, "where" she whispered.

"You could have my bedroom" Derek said looking into Meredith's eyes. Meredith before she could stop herself blurted out, "where will you sleep the couch is taken." She tightened her fist trying not to show anger on her features.

"I have another couch in the spare room i've wanted to turn it into a guest bedroom for years but I haven't got round to it yet."

"Okay" Meredith said trying to smile she hugged Derek close and wished she could fall asleep right then and there, then she felt Derek's lips on her cheek and she closed her eyes feeling Derek breaking away and wandering in to another room. Meredith stared after him before she walked upstairs and into Derek's bedroom. She looked around her it was simple with a bed and a wardrobe, but it was lovely and cosy the only thing missing was the owner of the room. Meredith thought about going downstairs and snuggling with Derek on the couch she had missed the night that she and Derek had done that, but then she remembered Derek's sister was also staying in the house. Amelia would find it very odd if she found her brother snuggling with a woman the next morning without any knowledge about why it had happened. Meredith was too exhausted to think of a reason to tell Amelia why she wanted to fall asleep in her brother's arms, she took off her shoes and flopped on to the big bed in her work clothes falling asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.


	9. Chapter 9

Hours later into the night dark rain clouds had gathered overhead and the sound of thunder woke Meredith from her deep slumber, she rubbed her face and looked at the pouring rain outside the window until the bedroom door slowly creaked open, "daddy" a small voice whispered.

"Ceci" Meredith whispered back.

Cecilia wandered slowly into the room as Meredith turned on the bedside lamp, "Meri" the little girl said softly, "your still here."

Meredith nodded as she smiled at Cecilia, "yes honey."

Cecilia looked at Meredith with wide eyes as she walked closer to the bed, _Josh's wish came true _the girl thought to herself. Then a lightning bolt echoed outside and Cecilia jumped into the big bed hiding under the covers. Meredith gently lifted up the quilt and saw the trembling girl looking at her with scared eyes. She smiled gently as she put her hand on Cecilia's cheek and a second later the child was snuggling close to Meredith and clinging to her tightly, "do you want to sleep here tonight?" Meredith whispered.

"I can Meri?"

"Are you allowed to?" Meredith said as her hands brushed Cecilia's hair and rubbed her tiny shoulders.

"Daddy says the bed isn't big enough."

"That's because your daddy is a big grownup, but I think it's big enough for you and me."

Cecilia looked up and smiled at Meredith before settling back down to hug the woman's stomach, Meredith continued to rub Cecilia's shoulders until she heard her breathing deepen and was about to reach to turn off the light when the door opened again and another child walked into the room. "Meri" a little boy whispered, "can I sleep with you too?"

"Yes Josh just be careful not to wake Cecilia." Josh climbed into the bed and hugged Meredith's stomach from the other side of the bed. Meredith gently put an arm around each child and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning Meredith woke up to an unpleasant smell drifting up her nostrils. She saw small sock covered feet on her chest inches from her face and she looked sideways at a smiling Cecilia sitting up on the bed. The girl put her feet on Meredith's neck and Meredith cringed as the smell got worse, "Ceci have you had those socks on all night?"

The girl nodded, "and yesterday too."

"Sweetheart i'm not a big foot cushion, can you get your feet off me?"

"But it's comfortable" Cecilia said grinning.

"Well your socks stink."

"They smell lovely" Cecilia put one of her feet to her own face and sniffed, "they smell like roses."

"They smell like the local rubbish tip."

Cecilia smirked before putting her feet directly on Meredith's nose and Meredith reaching her hands out lifted Cecilia by the armpits up into the air and in front of her. Cecilia laughed as she tried to move her feet back to Meredith's face and Meredith sat up, "your smelly feet can't touch me anymore."

"Meri you're really strong" Cecilia said as Meredith lowered her down on to the floor.

"Not that strong you're getting really big" Meredith said as she sat up on the bed looking at the girl.

"Meri you forgot to put on your pyjamas." Meredith smirked at the child, "so did you Ceci."

"Oh yeah" Cecilia said, "i'm wearing the same clothes as yesterday."

"Do you know where your brother is?"

"He found a big present downstairs and he's playing with it."

"He found my present."

"It was your present?"

Meredith nodded, "yes it was I got him a large dinosaur."

"Josh is very happy, he wanted to know where the present came from."

"I'm glad he likes my present." Meredith looked at the clock, "it's very early honey how long have you and Josh been up for?"

"A long time" Cecilia hopped on to the bed, "we woke up because you were snoring."

"I was snoring?" Meredith muttered.

"Really loudly like this" Cecilia made a snorting noise like a zeppelin taking off, Meredith rolled her eyes, "i'm sure it wasn't that loud."

"It was and you were snorting just like Peppa pig." Cecilia started to giggle and Meredith gave a light chuckle, "I can tell you're in a cheeky mood."

"Sometimes when i'm really cheeky daddy calls me cheeky cheeks."

"Well cheeky cheeks you've been wearing those clothes for so long that I think you need a bath."

"Can it be one with bubbles and lots of toys?"

Meredith smiled evilly, "it will be a lovely nice freezing cold bath."

Cecilia screamed as Meredith laughing reached for her, the girl jumped off the bed and ran out of the bedroom and Meredith chuckling to herself got up from the bed. She looked at her reflection in the mirror, her clothes were creased but surprisingly didn't look unacceptable for going out than she examined her hair in the mirror and groaned as she realised she didn't have a brush. She looked around Derek's bedroom and saw a wardrobe in the corner. _I'm sure Derek won't mind if I borrow a brush_ she thought as she opened the doors and looked inside, she found an old comb lying in a corner and was about to take it out when something else caught her eyes a large cardboard box sitting on the top shelf. Meredith knew it was wrong but she couldn't help herself she got the box down and opening it up she took out a large photo album. Meredith opened it up and she saw pictures of Derek and his family, she saw pictures of Derek surrounded by what looked to be his mother father and several very young children who Meredith realised were some of his nieces and nephews that Derek had mentioned. She turned the page and saw Derek smiling with a very beautiful woman Meredith had never met before, she had long red hair and a smiling face with Cecilia's eyes. Meredith saw her arm around Derek and she realised this must be Addison. She looked at the pictures of her and Derek laughing on a beach, waving with seals in the background, hugging on a large ferryboat and holding a baby Josh and a one year old Cecilia in their arms.

Meredith felt tears forming in her eyes as she gently touched the photographs, Derek looked so happy, so at ease with the world it was hard to believe he was ever shy and withdrawn. Meredith knew that the car accident which had taken Addison's life had changed Derek as well, and even though since he and Meredith met he appeared to smile and not be sad Meredith wanted him to be the same man in the photographs again. Meredith wanted Derek to be happy, she wanted his kids to be happy and she wanted their happiness to come from her, she wanted to be the one to make their world complete and whole again. Meredith had known deep down that she had wanted more than friendship with Derek for a long time but she had never told him how she felt about him because she had been afraid of hurting him. She didn't want to pressure him to try to move on from his past if he still felt attached to his wife, but even though part of her was afraid of hurting him if she did talk to him about this she knew as she looked at the photos in her heart that she wanted more than anything to be in those photos. She wanted to be the one laughing with Derek, to be the one smiling with Derek to be the love of Derek's life. She put the album down in the box, "i'm going to tell him, i'm going to tell him how I feel" she whispered. She didn't even close the wardrobe she ran out of the bedroom door. "Derek" she called out at the top of the stairs, "Derek there's something I want to-" she stopped as Amelia came round the corner holding her ears shut with the palms of her hands, "is there a fire in the house" she said visibly annoyed.

"Derek" Meredith whispered.

"He's gone to work cupcake, he left hours ago."

Meredith felt like slumping to the carpet she was ready to bare her heart and Derek wasn't even here to listen to her, and he had left without saying goodbye. Amelia looked at Meredith's face and she smiled with sympathy, "it's alright he wanted to say goodbye to you but with all that snoring."

"I usually don't snore that loud" Meredith said frowning, she felt like an idiot.

"Sorry i'm being unfriendly Derek asked me to take the kids to the zoo, and it would be grand if you came along to keep us company."

"Sure" Meredith quickly looked at the diary in her coat pocket, "yes i'm starting work late afternoon so I can come." She wandered downstairs, and Josh ran in to the room and to Meredith hugging her waist, "Meri" he said cheerfully.

"Hey little dude" Meredith whispered as she picked the boy up, "did you like the present you got this morning?"

Josh nodded quickly, "my wish came true" he said as he smiled from ear to ear.

"Your wish?" Meredith whispered feeling puzzled.

"Um" Josh said turning red he looked around him, "I wished I would get big underpants for my birthday."

"Really" Meredith said smiling.

"Yeah, are you coming to the zoo with us?"

Meredith nodded and Josh grinned as Meredith picked him up and carried him into the kitchen. "First we need some breakfast" Meredith said as Cecilia ran into the kitchen as well followed by Amelia who slumped into the nearest chair holding her forehead in her hands, "i'll make some pancakes."

"Big pancakes" Cecilia said.

"Really big pancakes Ceci."

"Thank you Meri, Aunty Amelia are you sick?"

"Just got a headache, I was woken up by a screaming female doctor."

"I think you just need breakfast to pep you up again" Meredith said smiling. Cecilia smiled too before turning to her brother, "Josh did you hear Meri snoring last night."

"That reminds me" Meredith said happily as she picked Cecilia up, "we still need to have that icy cold bath."

Cecilia laughed loudly as she squirmed in the woman's arms, Meredith gently patted her back, "it will be a warm bath with bubbles Ceci." She offered one hand to Josh who quickly took it before turning her head, "i'll take these two upstairs and then i'll make pancakes"

"Sure thing" Amelia replied as she yawned loudly.

_Later at the zoo_

"Okay" Meredith said as she brought tickets at the zoo entrance, "what does everyone want to see first?"

"Elephants" Josh said.

"Crocodiles" Cecilia said.

"The restroom" Amelia muttered clutching her stomach, "I shouldn't have eaten so many pancakes." Meredith shook her head smiling, "why don't you use the toilet Amelia and then we'll start at the entrance and make our way around the entire zoo." Amelia ran to the nearest cubicle and Meredith started to take out items she had brought with her from Derek's house.

"Meri why do animals live in the zoo" Josh whispered. Meredith bent down and started to rub sunscreen on the children's faces, "it's a place where they all can be looked after Josh, and we can come and see them any time we want."

Amelia came back five minutes later clapping her hands together until she saw the children holding both of Meredith's hands she started to pout, "well I guess i'm carrying the bags while you're watching my niece and nephew."

"Can one of you hold Amelia's hand so she feels safe" Meredith whispered she chuckled at the look Amelia gave her as Josh went to hold Amelia's hand. "You're a very amusing chick" Amelia muttered, "i'd like to blast you with my super soaker one of these days."

"If the summer got any hotter I would welcome it" Meredith replied as she put hats and sunglasses on Cecilia and Josh's faces, "there you look great and protected from the sun."

"Does the sun not like us" Josh whispered.

"The sun burns us to a crisp unless we wear these" Cecilia said as she adjusted her hat. The four of them started to walk Meredith felt Cecilia swinging her hand, several times Amelia had asked them to pose for a photo or asked Meredith to take a photo of her and the kids. Meredith had been happy to do it she wanted to be in as many photos as possible with the shepherds. Then she started to think about Derek and how she was going to talk to him, she didn't want to wait another day, she was going to talk to him tonight she tried to think about what she was going to say to him. "So why was my brother hugging you yesterday" Amelia said. Meredith snapped out of her daydream and grinned at Amelia, "isn't that how he always treats women."

"When I saw you too cuddling yesterday Derek looked like the happiest dude on the planet. I haven't seen him look so cheerful since he was a little boy getting a star wars game for Christmas."

Meredith beamed hearing those words, "making shepherds smile is my specialty."

"Your damn right it is" Amelia replied with a lop sided grin.

"Meri, Meri" Meredith looked at Cecilia, "Ceci Ceci."

"Can we get ice cream?"

"What's the magic word?"

"Please, pretty please."

"I think we can do that."

"Well if you're buying" Amelia said rubbing her hands together, "than its cool with me."

Meredith smirked she found it difficult to believe that the shy sweet Derek was the older brother of this outgoing, not afraid to speak her mind all about having fun girl. They got their ice cream and while the children licked theirs happily Meredith turned to Amelia, "so what was it like growing up with Derek?"

Amelia slumped back in her chair and looked at the sky, "well Derek is seven years older than me so when I was the same size as these two" he made a gesture towards Cecilia and Josh, "Derek was always really protective of me. He wouldn't let me use the swings without him, he wouldn't let me go on the slide without him, one time a bee flew past me and he nearly wet himself trying to save me so yeah it was nuts."

"Sounds like he really loves you."

"Well not as much as the ladies did."

"Ladies" Meredith whispered with amusement.

"When he was a teenager girls would constantly chase after him or ask him out to parties. Not that he was any good at talking to them, he always would stutter when a pretty girl walked up to him and I had to do the talking for him most of the time." Meredith smiled so Derek had always been shy and sweet she started to think back to the night when she and Derek had gone to Meredith's apartment for the first time. "You know when me and Derek went out for a night, Cecilia was the one who asked Derek to come out with me."

Amelia grinned showing all her teeth, "well i'm very pleased, Cecilia."

Cecilia looked up from her ice cream, "yes aunt Amelia."

"Do you remember when you asked your dad to go out with Meredith?"

Cecilia thought to herself for a moment before nodding.

"Good on you sweetheart you did the right thing, if it wasn't for you he would never go out with pretty ladies."

Meredith grinned with embarrassment as Cecilia and Amelia laughed. Cecilia took another lick of her chocolate ice cream and looked at Meredith, "when are you going on a date with daddy again Meri?"

"A date" Meredith said quickly.

"So that's what it was" Amelia said putting one of her hands to her chin and smirking, "hmm interesting."

"Meri" Cecilia said impatiently, "are you going on another date with daddy soon."

_If all goes well _Meredith thought to herself as she casually shrugged her shoulders, "maybe I will maybe I won't."

"Can it be really soon like tonight?"

"I have to work honey."

"Work work work" Cecilia said slowly with her tongue sticking out, "work is the worst."

"I'll see your daddy at work."

"Oh" Cecilia said smiling again, "that's okay than."

"So anyway" Meredith said turning to Amelia, "do you live in New York?"

"Meri when you went on your date did you kiss."

"What?" Meredith said looking at Cecilia.

"Did you kiss daddy?"

"No sweetie."

"Why not?"

"Um well, sometimes when two grownups have fun than they don't need to kiss each other."

"But you should" Cecilia said grinning.

Meredith was starting to wish she was having this conversation with Derek instead of his four-year old daughter, "why Ceci?"

"Grownups are supposed to kiss when they go on a date."

"Honey we weren't on a date."

"Yes you were."

"No sweetie we weren't."

"Yes you were" Cecilia said in a sing-song voice.

"Ceci a date is when two grownups care about each other very much and they spend time together."

"So you were on a date" Cecilia said smiling Meredith glanced at Amelia shaking with laughter in her seat and she leaned in close. "Ceci, you asked your daddy to come out with me that is not the same thing."

"But you're going to see daddy at the hospital that's what you just said and I didn't ask him to see you at the hospital." Cecilia crossed her arms in triumph as Meredith sighed, "Ceci" Meredith said smiling before rolling her eyes, "cheeky little monkey."

Cecilia laughed while Amelia fell out of her seat and started to roll around on the floor, "Amelia would you like some valium," Meredith muttered. Amelia took a deep breath and stood up holding her sides Meredith stood up to, "okay shepherds are we ready to see the elephants," the children nodded and Josh grabbed Meredith's hand while Cecilia grabbed Amelia's. Meredith wandered with Josh trying to figure out where the elephants where on the zoo map, "Meri."

"Yes Ceci."

"When you and daddy go on a date can you remember to kiss next time?"

Meredith started to whistle loudly to herself, "Meri" Cecilia said as she let go of Amelia's hand and ran to Meredith. Meredith continued to whistle and looked at everything around her except for the little girl jumping up and down on the spot in front of her, "Meri Meri." Meredith picked the child up into her arms and started to swing her around, Cecilia giggled with excitement before Meredith looked at her, "if me and your dad go on a real date I will kiss him okay." Cecilia nodded smiling as she caught her breath, "okay I think I need to sit down and figure out how this map works." Meredith went to sit down with Amelia while Josh walked over to Cecilia, "what's kissing" Josh whispered to Cecilia.

"Kissing is when two grownups slobber all over each other like a dog eating a bone."

"Why do they do it?"

"So they can fall in love, it's weird but it happens just like magic."

"Oh" Josh said and he smiled with his sister as they looked at Meredith.

Meredith finally found where the elephants where then her alarm beeped, she looked at her watch and groaned, "it's time for me to go to work."

"Right" Amelia muttered sadly, "just when I was getting used to having you around."

"I hope we'll see each other again soon."

"You can count on that i'm leaving next week, but I should see you sometime between now and then if not i'll come back and visit."

"Okay" Meredith said as she stood up and walked over to hug the children goodbye, "bye Josh, bye Ceci." The two kids looked at each other and jumped on to Meredith's legs, "kids I need to go to work" Meredith whispered.

"Are you coming back from work?" Cecilia said.

"Not tonight honey."

Josh started to cry, "my wish didn't come true."

"Your wish" Meredith said as she hugged Josh.

"I wished you would come back home and stay with us all the time."

Meredith leaned back and smiled warmly before rubbing the tears off Josh's cheeks with her thumbs, "I will see you very soon sweetheart I promise you."

Cecilia nodded sadly and squeezed herself into Meredith's embrace, Meredith rubbed their shoulders and smiled at both of them before she stood up and wandered off. Amelia watched her go and she bent down to the kids' level, "okay it's time to put a smile back on those small faces."

"Meredith went away again" Josh whispered.

"Josh it's like she promised you, she will see you soon."

"But soon is a long time" Cecilia said softly.

"It will happen before you know it."

"It will" Cecilia whispered.

"Yeah it will now let's go and see the elephants that always cheers us up." Amelia picked up the map and led the kids to the elephant enclosure. She waited for them to break out in surprised glances and point but all they did was stare blankly at the elephants. Amelia bent down, "okay rug rats we need to talk let's sit over there." She led the children to a large wooden table and sat down opposite Josh and Cecilia, "okay I don't know Meredith very well so I want you to tell me all about her, is she your daddy's girlfriend?"

"She's not" Cecilia said shaking her head.

"Really why not?"

"Because they don't go on dates, and they don't kiss and they're silly."

"Silly why are they silly Cecilia."

"Because daddy likes Meri, and Meri likes daddy but they don't do romantic things."

"And you wish they did?" Cecilia slowly nodded, "they should do romantic things."

"Has this been a plan of yours to get them together?"

Cecilia looked at the wooden table, "ever since Meri rescued me in the shopping place."

"That's why you asked Meredith to go out with your dad."

"Yes." Amelia smiled sadly and looked at Josh, "what about you Josh do you want your daddy and Meri to fall in love with each other?"

Josh nodded, "I wished it for my birthday."

"So both of you want Meri to come home every day to see you."

Cecilia looked up at Amelia with tear filled eyes, "I want Meri to be our mommy."

Amelia looked at the girl with wide caring eyes, _this is bigger than I thought_.

"But it won't happen" Cecilia whispered, "unless daddy and Meri fall in love."

"What's a mommy" Josh whispered.

"A mommy" Cecilia said, "is the nicest person in the whole world they hug kids, kiss kids goodnight, take kids places, help kids with things. They love kids and they love kid's daddies as well."

"Where is our mommy?"

"In heaven Josh."

"Oh" Josh said looking at the clouds, "I remember now."

"But we can have a new mommy."

"We can" Josh whispered with wide eyes.

"Meri can be our new mommy."

"She will."

"If daddy and Meri fall in love."

"Really."

"Really" Cecilia said smiling for a moment, "but"

"Hey there is no buts" Amelia said quickly, "look yesterday at the party I saw Meredith and your daddy hugging each other and that's a good sign I think so anyway."

Cecilia opened her mouth, "does that mean they're falling in love."

"I'm not sure kids but I think they will fall in love, you just got to give it time."

"How much time" Josh said.

"It will take a while but it will happen before you know it."

Josh smiled, "so they'll fall in love and get married."

"Yeah they will" Amelia said giving the kids a thumbs up.

"And we'll get a new mommy" Cecilia said excitedly, "and a baby brother or sister."

"Someday you will."

"And Meri will see us every day" Josh said smiling as widely as he did yesterday on his birthday.

"Every day" Amelia replied grinning. Cecilia and Josh jumped down from the table and ran around it screaming their heads off. "Okay okay kids we're in public" Josh and Cecilia stopped running around and smiled.

"Now we're going to get a couple of cold ones" Amelia said, "and finish our trip around the zoo."

"Cold ones" Josh said looking confused.

"Drinks like soft drinks or in my case, you know on second thought i'll get a coke as well."

Meredith walked inside the Seattle Grace Hospital feeling butterflies in her tummy, she opened her phone and saw that Derek had not responded to her messages asking him to meet her. She put the phone back in her pocket and felt a burning fire inside her she was going to find Derek and talk to him before work started no matter what. Meredith jumped into the elevator and rode it to the second floor then she walked quickly to Derek's office, she knocked on the door and hearing no response she opened the door and looked around the office, Derek wasn't there. Meredith started to sweat there was only one other place she knew she would be, she walked quickly to the operating theatre. Meredith ignored the do not enter sign on the door and she walked in, half a dozen people including Cristina looked at Meredith with amazement but there was only one person in the room who spoke to her, "Meredith" Derek mumbled through his face mask.

"Derek can I see you?"

"I um" Derek stammered, "yeah just a minute."

"I need to see you now."

"Meredith this is an operation."

"Derek" Meredith said fiercely, "I will drag you out of here if I have to."

The staff exchanged looks of shock between them and Meredith realised it wasn't every day that an intern comes in to a room and starts to order the head of neurosurgery to get out of an operation but she didn't care. She looked at Derek with determination burning in her face and Derek turned to Cristina, "Cristina can you take over for a second."

Cristina nodded and Derek walked out of the room into the hallway, "Meredith have you gone mad you can't just walk in there and pull me out, it's a crucial operation, if i'm not there acting as a leader then..."

"I know Derek but this can't wait."

"What is it?"

"Can we talk in your office?"

"Meredith" Derek said in a loud scared tone, "i've got no time."

"Your office now."

"Meredith."

"Derek" Meredith said angrily, "I work out and as your daughter will tell you I am very strong, I will pick you up by your ankles if I have to and drag you to your office."

Derek looked at her with a mixture of fear and amazement he had never seen her this fired up before, "look before I go with you I need to know are you going to murder me or torture me."

"I am going to do neither of those things."

"Okay look five minutes then I need to get back."

"Get your ass moving then" Meredith said loudly she started to pull Derek's arm forcing him to run with her to Derek's office, they walked inside and Meredith shut the door. Derek looked at Meredith with crossed arms, "please don't cross your arms" Meredith whispered.

Derek uncrossed them immediately as he looked at Meredith's crumbling face, "Meredith are you alright?"

Meredith tried to hold herself together but she felt a wave of bottled up emotion running free inside of her, "no i'm not alright." She leaned forward and Derek caught her he quickly led her to a chair and kneeled down, "Meredith what is it, you can tell me."

Meredith wiped her eyes with her hands and looked at the man she wanted to be with, "Derek I need to tell you something."

"What?"

"I" Meredith looked into Derek's eyes, "I" she stopped mid sentence she couldn't think at all she could feel her heart pounding in her ears. Derek looked at her for a slow second and he slowly brought his head, his lips to Meredith's lips. Meredith closed her eyes as she felt cool lips touching her own and her heart went from pounding to racing faster than she could ever imagine it would be. Derek drew back, "wait a second" he whispered.

"No" Meredith said shaking her head she stood up and kissed Derek passionately, her hands in Derek's hair, Derek's hands encircled around her waist they remained like this for a long time until Meredith finally pulled back and looked at Derek's smiling face. She smiled back at him feeling her heart swelling with happiness, "now you know" she whispered.

"My feelings" Derek whispered back.


	10. Chapter 10

Hours had passed and Derek was still outside the hospital waiting for Meredith wishing he could stop dwelling on all the thoughts in his head he was still giddy about what had happened. He had imagined the moment a thousand times when he and Meredith would kiss and tell each other how they felt but he had never imagined Meredith risking herself getting fired from her job so she could pull him into an office and make out with him to be the way Derek would show Meredith his wish to be with her. He had not been given a chance to properly discuss his feelings with Meredith, after five minutes of kissing her he had realised he needed to be back in surgery and Meredith had realised she needed to be at work and Derek had reluctantly left her. His shift finished hours before Meredith's shift and he walked outside the hospital waiting for Meredith to finish so he could see her. He had paced back and forth trying to think about what to say to Meredith, he had wanted to be with her for a long time, he knew that every time they had met, laughed and touched his feelings for her had grown stronger and stronger. He felt the same feelings for Meredith that he had once felt for Addison but he was afraid too. Derek had not told Meredith about Addison and he knew that he was going to have to tell her soon, and find a way to help her understand that a big part of him was afraid of being with Meredith because he was scared of moving on from the woman he once promised to be with forever. He was also scared because he was a single parent he knew his kids adored Meredith but for Meredith to be a big part of Derek's life would mean she would be a big part of Josh and Cecilia's lives too and if things didn't work out between Derek and Meredith, well Derek didn't want to think about how his children would feel. He kept dwelling on these thoughts trying to think of a way to get rid of them and then at last the hospital entrance opened and Meredith looking as nervous as Derek felt came through the doors.

"Hey" Derek said.

"Hey" Meredith whispered as she walked slowly towards him, she looked deep into his eyes and Derek smiled, "do you want to talk?"

Meredith nodded, "I think we need to."

"Let's go for a walk."

Meredith walked beside Derek through the city streets feeling the night lights illuminating her, she kept looking at Derek trying to tell him through her eyes to stop walking and talk to her then she grabbed his hand trying to ignore Derek's squawk of surprise that Meredith had unexpectedly grabbed his hand, "Derek" she whispered.

"Meredith?"

"There's a coffee shop right there."

Derek looked sideways and smiled uncomfortably, "yes silly me."

"Do you remember last time we went to a coffee shop."

Derek's smile changed and he chuckled, "I was insisting on buying you something and then you said-

"I would buy you something" Meredith finished smiling back at him.

"That was a fun afternoon."

"Well should we do the same thing again only this time lets surprise each other?"

"Yeah sounds good to me i'll order."

"Derek I said lets surprise each other with what we order for each other"

"How am I supposed to surprise you if you're standing next to me when i'm ordering food?" Derek smirked and Meredith leaned on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, "i'll go to the bathroom."

Five minutes later Derek and Meredith were sitting with the lattes they both had ordered for the other when Derek leaned forward. Meredith sat up straight at attention and gently covered Derek's hand with her own, _you can tell me anything Derek_.

"Meredith" Derek said slowly, "when I first met you I felt something that I hadn't felt in years."

Meredith smiled as she remembered the day when the elevator opened up and she saw Derek for the first time bending down to pick up papers, "Derek you dropped your books in an elevator."

Derek frowned, "Meredith."

Meredith wiped her smile from her face and nodded, "sorry i'll be serious."

"I didn't know how I felt but I realised over time what my feelings were."

Meredith smiled hearing his words he had felt the same feelings as she did for Derek.

"But I also felt guilty" Derek continued. Meredith grasped his hand tightly, "Derek I already know about Addison."

Derek's eyes sparkled, "how, when?"

"Cristina told me a long time ago."

"You know everything?"

"It's why I didn't make a move sooner because I was so afraid of hurting you," _and I couldn't stand doing nothing any longer that's why I finally made a move._

"Meredith I wanted to tell you what you mean to me for a long time but the part of me that felt guilty was because" Derek stopped in mid sentence, "because of Addison" Meredith whispered.

"I made a promise to love her forever and then I met you and I felt like I was betraying her in some way."

Meredith felt her own eyes brimming with tears she hated seeing Derek like this, "do you still feel that way?"

"I looked back on my past and I remembered one night me and Addison talked and we said that if something happened to either of us the other one would try to move on, and if me or her ever fell in love it would be okay I know Addison would want me to find someone else."

Meredith's heart fluttered at Derek's use of the L word, "are you okay than?"

"I am."

"So what now?"

"Well I really want to do this again" Derek leaned in to kiss Meredith and Meredith feeling her heart no longer fluttering and instead filling with happiness kissed Derek back.

Hours later Derek walked into his house late into the night with a wide smile that refused to leave his face he hanged up his jacket and resisted the urge to whistle as he headed for the stairs walking and hopping simultaneously. He stopped when he heard a click and glancing sideways saw Amelia sitting in a recliner chair in the living room with the light from an adjustable lamp bathing her in a bright yellow glow, "Amelia you still up?"

Amelia rose from the chair and started to move slowly towards Derek like a cat stalking a mouse, "it's time we had a little chat" she said softly

"Sure" Derek muttered as he shrugged his shoulders, "about what?"

"Well sit in the chair and we'll talk."

"Sure" Derek muttered again as he sat down in the recliner. Amelia carried a wooden chair over from the kitchen and then adjusted the lamp so the light was shining in Derek's face. Derek put his forearm in front of his eyes, "Amelia what in blazes."

"We're doing this properly Derek I have some questions that you alone will be allowed to answer and you are not going to bed until i'm properly enlightened. Now Derek you have known me all my life and if there is one thing that you should know by this time is that every time I get a new niece or nephew I swear to myself that I will do anything I can to put big smiles on their small faces. In the case of Cecilia and Josh I know what would make them happier than anything else in the world so the first question i'm going to ask you is Meredith what is your current status with her."

Derek looked at her funny, "what do you mean status am I meant to bring criminals to justice with her or something."

"Dude" Amelia said loudly, "will you wake up and smell the beer this woman is like an angel she is here to help you change your life, and your kids adore her they want to see the two of you together."

"They do huh?" Derek said as he started to smile with amusement.

"Yes you dumb lug nut so i'm going to tell you this if you don't ask Meredith out on a date and not have Cecilia do it for you, I am going to hunt you down and believe me." Amelia index finger and thumb grasped Derek's chin tightly, "you don't want to know what I will do to you."

"Okay" Derek squeaked with pain. Amelia released her hold on Derek's face and raised her eyebrows, "what do you mean okay?"

"Okay I will ask her out on a date, we'll go out tomorrow night."

Amelia's eyes widened with amazement, "wait what?"

"Tomorrow night" Derek stood up smiling like a employer proposing a business deal with a potential employee, "can you babysit?"

Amelia's bottom jaw was hanging, "did I miss something?"

"Amelia" Derek said grinning, "can you watch-"

"Yes of course I can, look did you ask her out already?"

"We kissed in the hospital and one thing lead to another" Amelia sat still as a board on the chair feeling the penny drop then she jumped into Derek's arms and hugged him tightly, "big brother that's great, oh i'm so happy for you."

"Jesus Amelia will you be quiet my kids are asleep, we haven't even gone out on a date yet, it's not like we just got engaged."

Amelia smirked as she drew back, "well not yet anyway."

Derek tried very hard to stay calm at Amelia's statement, "Amelia look can you not tell Cecilia and Josh."

"Is this one of those don't get their hopes up things."

"That's exactly it if they're okay with this than i'm glad, but I want to wait until things between Meredith and myself get more serious before I tell them."

"You know they're going to get serious don't you."

Derek nodded as he smiled widely, "I just have a good feeling that's all."

The next night came quickly and Derek was straightening his hair nervously in the mirror, he tried to smile at his own reflection and then a knock on the door alerted him to Amelia's presence. His little sister smiled at him, "looking good big bro."

"Thanks, Amelia do you remember the plan?"

"Absolutely you have told your two little darlings that you are going to work and if they ask me I will remind them you are at work."

"Thank you, and please don't tell them where I am really going as soon as I leave."

"Do you think I would do that?"

"Amelia I have known you all your life and-"

"Okay dude" Amelia raised her hands in surrender, "don't dwell on ancient history focus on the job on hand."

Derek smiled as he gave his sister a hug, "thank you."

"If you're not back tonight than I assume all will be going well."

"Amelia have you ever heard of the you shouldn't kiss on the first date idea."

"Yeah i've heard of it and i've also heard people say you should always wear undergarments when going out on the town but that has never stopped me from going commando."

"Now who's dwelling on ancient history?"

"Beneath that nice smile of yours" Amelia's finger tapped Derek's forehead, "is a brain my brother."

Derek walked out he saw his children watching Toy Story and he bent over the couch to kiss the kid's foreheads Cecilia looked up at him, "daddy will you be home soon from work?"

"Soon Cecilia soon."

"Miss you" the girl whispered.

"Me too" her brother added.

Derek smiled warmly, "I will miss you both very much."

"Okay daddy" Cecilia said grinning, "have fun at work."

"I rather be here with you too than at work." Derek put on his jacket and walked out the door to his car, "okay Derek its show time."

A half hour later Derek had driven to Meredith's apartment and walking up the stairs to her door he knocked on it and breathed out clapping his hands together than he saw a small note on the door _Derek check your messages_. He looked at his phone and read Meredith's message sent over an hour ago, _i'm catching the bus to the restaurant if your car breaks down again call me_. Derek chuckled to himself, "our first date hasn't started and she's already giving me hoops to jump through."

Derek ran to the restaurant's front door in the rain keeping his jacket over his head he walked through the front door and the first thing he saw was Meredith looking amazing in a red dress elegant shoes and dry hair smiling at him, "you see" she said softly as she walked slowly towards him, "this is why I took the bus and got here early because I checked the weather report."

"And you thought hey I should be here before the rain starts so that when Derek arrives I can gloat at his drowned state?"

"No" Meredith said smirking, "my motive was I wanted to show you that in our relationship you will be the one who looks pretty and I will be the brains."

"Really" Derek muttered as he smiled, "well i'm as wet as a shaggy dog who just been for a swim and you're looking breathtaking."

Meredith leaned up and kissed him gently on the lips Derek held her close and drew back, "so much for the just hold hands on the first date rule" he whispered.

"First date" Meredith said grinning, "this is our second date."

"It is, that's funny I can't seem to remember our first date."

"Well according to your little angel the time your car broke down on the way to this restaurant was our first date."

"Well I better make sure I do things properly this time."

"Derek" Meredith said gently, "you don't have to order an expensive bottle of wine."

"You're reading my thoughts."

"I just feel like I know you very well."

Derek and Meredith sat at their table and talked for a long time about anything that they could think of. Derek was listening to Meredith talk about a movie she recently went to see with her friends when he saw her hands sitting on the table. Derek slowly moved his hands forward and took hers in his, "Meredith I don't know how to thank you."

"Thank me?" Meredith muttered.

"For this it means a lot."

"Derek you're not making sense."

"I just um" Derek started to sweat, "that came out wrong." Meredith quickly put her hand on his bicep, "Derek don't go all Derek on me just relax."

"Look I didn't mean you're giving me something and i'm. I didn't mean to say it like that."

"Relax" Meredith whispered.

"Yeah um."

"Shhhh" Meredith placed a finger on his lips, "relax" she said softly with a wide smile. Derek took a deep breath, "i'm relaxed."

"Good" Meredith said smiling with him. Derek saw the waiter coming with their food and he released his hands, Meredith immediately took them again "Meredith?"

"I was enjoying holding hands with you."

"Our food is here."

"So eat it without your hands"

"Meredith."

"If the rule is only hold hands on the first date than I intend to hold hands with you as much as I can."

"It's not our first date" Derek muttered.

"It's not" Meredith said with wide eyes.

"No its our second."

"I can't remember the first."

"Look" Derek's mouth opened wide in a grin, "you know you really are the brains."

"I'm glad we agree on that."

They had their dinner and walked out into the restaurant's balcony, "i'm glad the rain stopped" Derek muttered.

Meredith nodded as she stared at the glowing stars in the sky, "its magical."

"It is you know last time we went out on a date we did dancing."

"We did" Meredith said her eyes glowing as she remembered.

"And there's no one here except for the stars."

"We have no music" Meredith pointed out.

"That doesn't matter" Derek said as he offered his hand to Meredith who gently took it and started to sway gently with Derek, "I missed this" she whispered.

"Me too" Derek whispered back.

"Do you want to walk along the beach."

"That sounds good" Derek said as he started to walk with Meredith down to the water. They walked closely side by side walking on the sand and Meredith closing her eyes felt happier than she had ever felt in her life.


End file.
